Infinite Eternity
by AnimeHuntress
Summary: AxC Fic. Takes Place when Shinn 'Kills' Kira in the Destiny Timeline. Cagalli is injured while saving Kira and looses something infinetely precious for all eternity. Captured by the Minerva she now must face the pains of her losses and find a way to...
1. Lost Innnocence

Disclaimer: I don't own Mobile Suit Gundam Seed or Destiny.

Infinite Eternity

AN: Okay I'm sorry I haven't updated in a while. And Now I'm not even updating! I'm rewriting the story! Sorry. Yes the plot is still the same but I went back to my rough draft and ideas and realized how far off I was taking this story, so sorry. Anyways here's the new first chapter please enjoy. I will let you know that I will not be updating consistently with this story. It's too difficult to write quickly. Sometimes I'll get chapters out in short order sometimes it'll take a few weeks. I apologize but I hope you'll still continue to read.

Please someone contact me about being beta for this story! My E-mail is available in my profile! AnimeHuntress181* * NetZero . com! Without the spaces or *.

On another not, someone questioned my spelling on Durndal in a Review. I am using the English Spelling from the Dub of the series. All spelling I take directly from the credits.

Chapter one: Broken Innocence

* * *

"Kira! Please Kira don't be dead!" Cagalli pleaded angrily as tears streamed down her cheeks. "Kira!"

Carefully she grabbed hold of what had been the Freedom's cockpit and started to descend to the archangel. She had barely begun before some kind of explosion sent shrapnel right at her and Kira. She didn't have time to react and only could maneuver slightly so that Kira's cockpit wasn't hit directly. The blast slammed into her hard and she screamed in pain as her cockpit seemed to suddenly implode on her. Water began to seep in and she fought to maintain control of her mobile suit. She couldn't go down any further, with the damage to both hers and Kira's cockpits the pressure of the water would destroy them; she could only go up. Unaware of the pain ripping through her and her mind only on getting Kira to safety she forced her damaged mobile suit upward.

"What the hell?" Shinn shouted startled as the Strike Rouge burst from the ocean, shortly after the explosion had. "The Strike!"

"Ready the landing gear! Crash crew and Medics on standby!" Captain Gladys commanded. "If those pilots are alive they're going to need all the help they can get! Meyrin! Shinn is to assist the Strike Rouge!"

"Ma'am?" her First Officer stared at her.

"If we leave them out there now… we're no better then the Earth Forces. We'd be nothing but murders, and I'm sorry but I'm not willing to have that on my conscience!" Gladys snapped angrily. "Don't forget, Cagalli pulled a lot of strings for us to see that we could get out of Orb, I won't have her death at my hands. I won't forget."

"Right!" First officer Trine stiffened. "Crash and Medic crews on Standby."

"Shinn you are to assist the Strike Rouge! I repeat you are to aid the Strike Rouge!" Meyrin Hawk ordered over the CIC.

"What? They're the enemy!" Shinn snarled.

"They are also an enemy that can't fight back! That is a direct order Shinn!" Captain Gladys snapped angrily.

"Yes, ma'am." Shinn muttered and moved to take the free hand of the Strike Rouge.

The Strike Rouge didn't let go of the Freedom Cockpit and he was a bit relieved as his own Mobile suit was badly damaged. With the Strike Rouge he made his way back to the Minerva. They had barely landed before the crews were swarming over the Freedom cockpit, Athrun with them. Letting go of the Strike Rouge everyone was stunned when the mobile suit seemed to just fold in on itself and collapse to the hangar deck.

"Cagalli!" Athrun shouted running over to the fallen mobile suit.

The cockpit opened and water gushed but Cagalli didn't move to get out. Athrun reached inside and unbuckled her and hit a couple controls to turn off the rest of the power. Her helmet was cracked and there were several rips in her pressure suit. Blood had caked his hands from him removing the safety harness, all he could do was grab her and pull her from the ruined cockpit. Removing her helmet and holding her tightly he now saw what he hadn't before. The Strike Rouge was mainly intact but most of the left side had deep gouges and much of the metal had folded from water pressure after being compromised. The damage was repairable and in space or on land wouldn't have been all that bad, but Cagalli had been underwater in freezing temperatures with hundreds of gallons of water pressure surrounding her. The Rouge had never been built to withstand pressure of underwater battle, though it had been modified to endure it just as the original Strike had been, but the modifications were obviously not enough once the suit itself was compromised to a certain extent.

"Kira…?" Cagalli muttered blinking at him blearily.

Athrun looked over at the medic and crash crews that were removing Kira and putting him on a stretcher. "He's alive," Athrun murmured still holding her desperately.

"Athrun…?" Cagalli frowned trying to focus and not entirely sure why she couldn't.

"It's okay… you're going to be fine…" Athrun stated in a pleading tone, his whole body was trembling.

"Athrun… sorry… so sorry! I didn't… want this… please…" Cagalli hissed out struggling to focus. "Don't hate… me…"

"Cagalli… you're going to be okay… Damnit Cagalli! You're going to be fine! You're too stubborn… to… to die…" Athrun commanded angrily and desperately, tears ran down his face as he looked over the damage to her pressure suit.

Cagalli chuckled tiredly and managed a weak smile. "I'm so… rry…"

"Stop saying that! You're going to be fine!" Athrun snapped through gritted teeth. "Stop apologizing!"

"Athrun… I… Please…" Cagalli looked up into his beautiful eyes and remembered how they had met and how somehow during all the conflict she had fallen for him. It was agonizing to see him hurting like this. She hadn't wanted any of this. She'd just wanted…

"Cagalli…Cagalli!" Athrun froze in horror when she went limp in his arms. "Damnit don't do this! CAGALLI!"

A medic crew hurried over to Faith Pilot and the Orb Chief Representative, but even to them it seemed to take eternity. Athrun's scream of rage pain and suffering only seemed to make time stand still. The way he clutched at the young woman's body and sobbed desperately pleading for her to wake up was gut wrenching. When the medics arrived and took the Chief Representatives limp form to Med-bay, everyone watched as Athrun followed right on their heals.

"Isn't he supposed to be engaged to Lacus?" someone asked quietly.

"I think… I think the Chairman got it wrong… I think Cagalli is the one he…" Lunamaria whispered.

"He really loves her," one of the few older techs told them quietly. "If he was engaged to anyone it was Cagalli Yula Athha, and from what she said I'd say it's mutual. That isn't the type of thing you come across often."

"They're the enemy! He…" Shinn snarled.

"The enemy?" The tech frowned at the youth. "You sure are green kid, that girl was betrayed by her country as much as her people were betrayed. I heard your story brat, and you think the Athha's were responsible for the attack on ORB, well this time they joined the Alliance, it's not saving lives now is it? You want to call someone an enemy and lay blame at their feet, at least blame the ones who are guilty."

"But they attacked us!" Shinn shouted angrily.

"No they didn't," Lunamaria stated quietly.

"Luna? What are you talking about of course they did! They…" Shinn snapped.

"No they didn't! Orb has never attacked ZAFT except when the Alliance forced them too. Back when they blockaded their border they could have sunk us while you were occupied with the Earth Forces. They didn't fire at us, only around us to warn us off. The senior technician officer is correct. I don't get it Shinn! I know you're hurt but why are you blaming her? She hasn't done anything!"

"It's her fault! It's all her fault!" Shinn shouted angrily.

"What is Shinn? What's her fault, the previous war! She had nothing to do with what happened to ORB anymore than you did!" Luna shouted back angrily. "She had to follow orders too, Shinn!"

"Then what about now, she should have…"

"Should have what Shinn? She's barely older than us, and her Parliament consists mostly of people who have kids our age. Do you honestly think they would listen to some kid who just happens to be an Athha? Orb was practically destroyed by the Earth Forces and now it's beginning to thrive again! That's because of Cagalli! You can't just keep blaming her because it's convenient! You can't hate her because of what her father did, if you do, than you're no better than Blue Cosmos!" Lunamaria shouted back bitterly. "You are not the only one to loose loved ones and suffer loss. You escaped to the Plants, do you think it was easy for her to return to Orb and rebuild it after loosing her father?"

"I…" Shinn blinked startled.

"I know you watched your family die Shinn, but so did she! So did a lot of us! You can't keep doing this to yourself Shinn! It's not right!" Lunamaria snapped but there were tears in her eyes, and then abruptly turned around and went to follow Athrun to the Med-bay. "Athrun's right! You need to grow up Shinn!"

* * *

Athrun waited tensely outside of the ICU unit for word on either his friend or Cagalli.

"Athrun Zala, would you care to explain the situation to me, in your own words?" Captain Gladys asked calmly when she arrived.

"…" Athrun frowned and paused a moment before he finally spoke. "What do you want to know?"

"I'd like to know what is going on with you and Miss Athha. I want to know what the hell happened out there." Captain Gladys frowned at him but her voice was calm as she continued to speak. "I do not like all that's been happening but I am a good soldier and I follow my orders. I just attacked the Archangel and its crew, I want to know why!"

"Cagalli and I are engaged… I asked before I left for the PLANTs." Athrun stated tiredly. "I first met her back before Josh-A. We became friends. She's the reason I first started second guessing my orders as a soldier. She's the reason I fight. As for the Archangel… the ship and her crew are seasoned war veterans and the ship itself is the top of the line and probably better than even the Minerva. It's likely that the Chairman ordered the attack because he's afraid of what the Archangel and Kira could do. I don't know anything more than that."

"I see… it makes sense… I take it the Chairman staged your continued engagement to Miss Clyne?" Captain Gladys sighed and frowned when Athrun nodded. "Why?"

"Because the Lacus he's currently using isn't the real one. Her name is Meer Campbell and she's his puppet from what I can tell. The real Lacus was in Orb with Kira and Reverend Malchio, though I suspect that recent flight hijacking was her making her way to the Clyne Faction. We'll probably be seeing the Eternal again."

"I see… you've given me a lot to think about." Captain Gladys stated calmly. "I want to be kept up to date on any changes to either of their conditions is that clear?"

"Yes ma'am." Athrun nodded.

"Until further notice I'm removing you from active duty… Hopefully some of what is going on and what will happen will be cleared up when we get to Gibraltar."

Athrun saluted and watched her leave the room before he returned to his tense waiting. Eventually, Lunamaria and her sister came to wait with him. The two girls were followed by a scowling Shinn and an impassive Rey. Slowly the hours passed by and with every hour longer the atmosphere became that much more tense. Finally after nearly six hours a doctor came out to speak to them.

"The male pilot is stabilized and I expect a recovery in short order." The man stated calmly.

"And Cagalli?" Athrun demanded angrily. "Is she…?"

"Lady Athha is in critical condition… There have been some unforeseen complications." The man's shoulders slumped a bit. "There's some internal bleeding... She's hemorrhaging, and it is unlikely we'll be able to stop the miscarriage."

"What!" Athrun shouted stunned. "Miscarriage!"

"Lady Athha was pregnant... I'd say at least three to four months." The man eyed Athrun carefully. "We still have some tests to run but they were definitely a Gen. Coordinator."

"They?" Athrun asked hoarsely.

"Lady Athha was pregnant with twins..." The man sighed and frowned. "At the moment there are numerous other complications working against Lady Athha. From what we can tell Lady Athha was extremely malnourished and sleep deprived. Her body was under a lot of strain and to be honest I am not surprised that she was unaware of her pregnancy. The symptoms would have been the same as what she had been going through from stress. We will let you know more once she's stabilized. Excuse me."

"I can't believe it…" Lunamaria whispered in shock tears filling her eyes as her sister hugged her openly crying.

"WHAT THE HELL WAS SHE THINKING!"" Shinn demanded angrily.

"Shinn!" Rey snapped angrily his voice cold and vicious.

"Athrun?" Meyrin asked gently, and abruptly they all turned to stare at him.

His eyes were wide with pain and shock and tumult of raw emotions shook his frame. He staggered back hitting the wall and crumpled down it, folding in on himself. He couldn't think or feel past the fact that Cagalli had been pregnant, and he had no doubt that they were his, and he hadn't known. He hadn't protected her. He had fought against her and now they had lost something that should never have been lost. Just like when he had faced off with his father and when his father died, he couldn't do anything. He couldn't save them or even protect them.

Without realizing it he was suddenly standing and with shout of rage and pain he turned and slammed his fist into the wall, denting it and breaking the skin in his knuckles. Tears streamed down his face as he braced himself against the wall and cried.

"Athrun!" Lunamaria shouted shocked.

"They were… It was… I was…" Athrun whispered hoarsely. "Damnit!"

"How…?" Rey asked startled.

"We weren't careful… I never thought about it… why would I? I'm a coordinator… this…this is supposed to be impossible!" Athrun snarled at him, glaring through his tears. "There's a reason I was her body guard!"

"Well look at where that got us!" Shinn growled angrily.

"You don't think I don't know that!" Athrun shouted at the boy. "You don't think I don't get it? Grow up! This isn't so damn black and white! There is no real enemy in war except war itself! Do you honestly think that all this! Everything that's happened is Cagalli's fault? Or Kira's because he piloted the Freedom! You can't fight and not understand that there is more to a war then who's the enemy! I went through the first war never understanding until I was faced with a father who'd lost his mind and wanted nothing more than revenge! He tried to wipe out every Natural in existence not just the ones responsible! You kill because someone was killed then you're killed for killing him! That's not what I'm fighting for!"

"I…" Shinn froze as did the others, suddenly realizing why Athrun had become a FAITH member.

"There is more to fight for then revenge… and I will never forget that. I can't, not when she was the one who saved me." Athrun stated in a low brutal tone. "It doesn't matter who is right or wrong… today something has been lost that should never have been lost. Innocent blood has been spilt and it's no one's fault but that doesn't change that it's happened. Do you think they deserved to die Shinn! Do you! Do you think it is Cagalli's fault they never got a chance to live!"

"She's the one that went out!" Shinn snapped back.

"HE'S HER BROTHER SHINN! HER TWIN! DO YOU THINK SHE WOULD ABANDON HIM AFTER EVERYTHING SHE'S BEEN THROUGH! HE'S ALL SHE HAS LEFT!" Athrun raged at Shinn his voice barely recognizable.

"Brother…" Shinn blinked stunned.

"The Archangel is gone, even if she hadn't gone out… but then I would have lost her too." Athrun gritted his teeth.

"Wait what do you mean brother?" Meyrin asked in confusion.

"Cagalli found out just before boarding the Kusanagi in the first war that Kira was her twin brother. Her father gave her a baby picture with their names on it and no explanation except that she would be with her brother." Athrun explained quietly.

"But why! How could he do something like that to her!" Lunamaria demanded.

"He was a selfish bastard, who wanted nothing more than to protect his country and its ideals. His family for the most part was second to Orb. Hate Uzumi Nara Athha all you want Shinn, but Cagalli has lost and faced more horrors than you could ever imagine. Now this has been added to it..." Athrun stated almost calmly, his posture one of defeat.

"…" Shinn had nothing he could say, there was nothing he could say against the truth.

They all could only keep waiting in silence.

* * *

Okay that was a heartless place to end it but I couldn't resist. I know this isn't an update but it is a good revision and I'm hoping there will be those of you who approve the change. Again if someone would like to beta this story I would be most pleased. Please let me know my e-mail is in my profile. Thank you and review.


	2. Darkening Sorrows

An: Well I'm glad the response to this fic is doing so much better. I'm glad your all enjoying it and putting up with my pitifully slow updates. Thank you everyone who Reviewed and put me on their Story Alert. I still don't have a Beta for this story so by all means someone E-mail me or message me via Fan Fiction Messaging.

AnimeHuntress181 * NetZero . com

Chapter Two: Darkening Sorrows

* * *

It was nearly a day later before Cagalli was stabilized. Unfortunately the damage to her body had taken its toll and Cagalli could not be released from the ICU for the simple fact that it was the only 'Clean' unit on the ship. Due to the stresses her body had undertaken her immune system was left incredibly vulnerable and in her current condition if she contracted any kind of infection she would likely die. The miscarriage hadn't damaged her, luckily, and they had stopped the hemorrhaging but she had been exposed to hypothermic temperatures with a damaged pressure suit as well as the wounds sustained from the comprised cockpit of her Mobile Suit, and if that weren't enough her body had been under great mental stress while she had been pregnant with Coordinator twins. Her body was badly malnourished and sleep deprived. As a natural she simply didn't have anything left in her to fight with. Even a Coordinator in the same situation would have been hard pressed to come out of it alive much less in good health.

Plans were made with the Chairman Durandal and Cagalli would be heading to the PLANTs along with Kira and Athrun once they made it to Gibraltar. It was with the hope that the controlled environment of the PLANTs that Cagalli could heal and recover without worries, though Athrun was beginning to suspect there was more behind it. He wasn't a fool, not by a long shot, even if he was stupid sometimes. Cagalli had carried his babies under natural circumstances, even under bodily duress, and she had conceived naturally as well. She had done something that very few first generation Coordinator women had been able, and she had done so with one of the older Third Generations coordinator in existence. It was also likely that had the pregnancy been discovered and properly monitored that she would have carried the babies to term. In short Cagalli was a medical miracle for Coordinators and it was likely that Durandal didn't want to loose that. The fact that Cagalli was the Chief Representative of Orb was only icing on the cake.

Athrun sat between the two beds and felt as if he were completely helpless. He no longer had a mobile suit and Cagalli had been placed in the worst kind of danger by his own stupid actions. Cagalli was a tomboy, and it probably hadn't ever even occurred to her to protect herself. Hell he knew it hadn't, and now they had both lost something immeasurably precious. She had been so naïve in some area's and it wasn't hard to believe considering how truly sheltered her father had kept her. Maybe it was her father's way of protecting her or something, but it had been that sheltering that had nearly broken her when she had first taken the mantel as Chief Representative. Sometimes he resented Lord Athha just as he resented his own father, but such cynicisms would do nothing for him now. He was helpless to protect the ones he loved most.

"Athrun… where's Cagalli?" Kira asked with a hiss from the pain. "I could hear her… she was calling me."

"Right here… she went after you in the Rouge." Athrun whispered looking at the pale figure, covered in wires and tubes and looking anything but the hotheaded princess he had known.

"What…" Kira stared in horror. "Athrun?"

"Keep it down… she sedated but not being held under, and she needs to rest." Athrun hissed. "What did you think she was going to do Kira! I bet Captain Ramius had to lock her up to keep her from the fight with you being such an idiot! Of course she went after you!"

"That doesn't explain this… or why we're in ZAFT's custody." Kira snapped quietly. "What the hell happened?"

"There was an explosion… her suit was compromised. Maybe… Kira…"

"Athrun?" Kira frowned. "What is it?"

"She was pregnant… she lost the babies… and this is the result. They stopped the bleeding but it was the last straw." Athrun hissed darkly. "It broke her body. She's stable now… but she could relapse at any time. She doesn't have anything left…"

"What do you mean?" Kira demanded coldly.

"She didn't know Kira… She didn't know she was… Did you ever see her eat, drink, or sleep? She's always had a tendency to forget to do such things when she's stressed and worried. With her pregnant it made it all worse… She doesn't have the strength left in her to fight. If she relapses…" Athrun whispered hoarsely. "I did this to her… this is my fault."

"Athrun! They were…" Kira stared at his childhood friend in confusion, anger, and shock. "How could you!"

"How the hell was I supposed to know? Damnit Kira this was supposed to be impossible!" Athrun snarled back brokenly. "Do you think I would have left her for an instant had I known?"

"No… No I don't think you would have…" Kira whispered hoarsely. "What happens now?"

"The Chairman is having all of us transferred to Januarious…" Athrun stated flatly, careful to keep his voice down.

"…" Kira frowned. "Athrun… this isn't good…"

"I know… there's more. The Chairman left a little surprise until after the Archangel was sunk…" Athrun frowned. "He knew exactly who was responsible for Junius Seven's fall, and he kept it to himself until now."

"Athrun…?"

"They're called Logos and they are apparently responsible for all the current conflict, a group of mercenary business men who make a better profit off conflict than peace and of course the Seirans and half of the Orb ministers are on it." Athrun growled. "It was all a plot to get Orb's power, and Cagalli fell right into it."

"Damnit Athrun… what could she have done? She was loosing power before Yuna pulled all that crap. If it weren't for Cagalli the Minerva would never have escaped Orb." Kira growled glaring at his friend. "She did what she did because she had no choice. You did and you made it and you left her to deal with it. Blaming her or anyone else isn't going to change it."

"…I know…" The two words were laced with bitterness and pain.

"Cagalli doesn't know yet does she…?" Kira asked after a long tense moment.

"She hasn't woken up yet…" Athrun answered quietly.

"What are we going to tell her?"

"The truth…" Athrun frowned. "I won't add to the lies that she has been forced to live with."

Kira could only agree.

* * *

"I'm concerned about Athrun…" A voice stated calmly over a vid-phone. "He's beginning to think for himself."

"I see… so then it has been confirmed? The children were his?" A suave almost gentle voice asked coolly.

"Yes, but I think it started when we sank the Archangel and nearly killed his friend, the pilot of the Freedom."

"Indeed?" The voice sighed. "I'm afraid that might have been inevitable. Tell me how the Princess's condition is?"

"Their keeping her mildly sedated for fear of a relapse… Her condition is stabilized at the moment but it isn't strong. Her body is at its breaking point. If she relapses… she'll die."

"That isn't good… I need her. She's carried naturally beyond what most Coordinator women have achieved and her genetics are if nothing else top of the line. It's unbelievable to think that she is the Control for the Ultimate Coordinator. It seems they are both very unique and are good at becoming quite troublesome."

"Sir?"

"Keep an eye on the situation and report any changes. I will be seeing you both in Gibraltar."

"Sir if the Princess dies we will have Athrun as our most dangerous enemy."

"Oh indeed we will, but I have no intention of seeing the Princess dead. She will be obtaining the best doctors and medical care that the PLANTs can provide. Athrun's relationship to the Princess of Orb is a weakness that I intend to fully exploit." The voice chuckled. "To think that a woman with such a tomboy nature was to be a mother… amusing truly, and that she a Natural carried Coordinator children beyond anything our own Coordinator women could accomplish without aid, ironic."

"Sir?"

"There is still a way to turn all of this to our favor and I have every faith that we will be able to do so. It is but a small order to finish completely discrediting Yuna Roma Seiran and his father Unato, and with Cagalli in her weakened state Orb will be vulnerable. I expect you to do your best. You are indeed right; Athrun Zala is not an enemy I could ever afford. He is in his own way as strong a presence as Lacus."

"Right!"

* * *

The first thing Cagalli was aware of was that something was wrong. It wasn't that her body hurt and that she felt like she couldn't lift a finger let alone anything else. Something felt different and whatever it was… was wrong. She gasped and felt tears slip down her cheeks without really understanding why. Her whole body trembled and she felt as if somehow something was missing.

"Ki… Kira?" Cagalli whispered, but that wasn't right either, whatever was wrong had nothing to do with her brother.

"Cagalli!" Athrun exclaimed and squeezed her hand while leaning over to brush the hair out of her eyes. "You had us scared… I'm still scared."

"Athrun?" Cagalli blinked trying to focus, her mind was muddled.

"Yeah… it's me. Kira's here too." Athrun gave a long sigh. "Cagalli you scared the hell out of me!"

"Huh?" Cagalli blinked. "Athrun…"

"Hey Cagalli…" Kira had stood up from his bed and was sitting at the foot of her bed.

"Kira…"

"He's right you know… you scared us pretty badly." Kira exclaimed tiredly.

"Something's wrong…" Cagalli muttered frowning, reaching up with her free hand to remove the oxygen mask. "Something doesn't feel right…"

"Cagalli!" Kira exclaimed startled.

"What are you…? Cagalli you're alive and…" Athrun fought to find the words he needed to tell her the devastating truth of what had happened.

Outside the door Shinn and Lunamaria had come to see how Cagalli was doing. Well Lunamaria was and she had dragged Shinn along with her. They stopped when they heard the occupants talking. They waited quietly in the cleaning antechamber.

"Don't say it's nothing! I know something is wrong! I can feel it Athrun! Just like when my father… Something has happened! Tell me!" Cagalli shouted struggling to sit up only to collapse back down panting from pain and exhaustion.

"Don't! Don't move… Cagalli your body can't take it…" Kira shouted desperately. "It's okay… we promise to tell you."

"Tell me now!" Cagalli demanded angrily. "Damnit I know something is wrong… I feel… Tell ME!"

"I… Cagalli…" Athrun took and deep breathe and felt the tears well up in his eyes though he struggled to hold them back. "Cagalli you were pregnant…"

"That's impossible I never let Yuna touch me! Stop lying, the last person I was with was you! Hell you're the only one I've ever been with like that! It's impossible!" Cagalli snarled angrily tugging at the hand Athrun clutched like a life line.

"Cagalli, we aren't lying." Kira stated gently his usually calm voice cracking at the end.

"But… I…" Cagalli struggled against the denial and reality of her situation.

"Twins Cagalli… you were about nine weeks pregnant with twins… a little over two months… I'm so sorry… I'm so sorry. God Cagalli I…"

Cagalli didn't hear him, she couldn't hear anything except the words, 'twins Cagalli, you were nine weeks pregnant with twins.' Everything seemed fold in on itself and whirl around her in chaos but she couldn't register any of it, and everything kept building up inside her until she couldn't hold it in any further, not that she wanted to either. The scream that ripped out of her was one of loss and denial, pain and suffering, and of a raw emotion to large to ever describe.

Outside the door Lunamaria was crying softly and Shinn held her tightly, he knew that scream, it was the same one that had burst from him when he had lost his family. Angrily and bitterly he pulled Lunamaria away and they left the group in peace. For the first time, Shinn understood something that a lot of people had been trying to tell him, vengeance fulfilled nothing and often was far from satisfying in the end. Shinn Auska felt no pleasure in the suffering of Cagalli Yula Athha, only bitter emptiness.

Inside the room Athrun had grabbed Cagalli and pulled her into a hug and she buried herself against his chest and wept. Carefully he maneuvered himself onto her bed, between the wall and her, careful of all the wires monitoring her vitals and held her tight. Kira moved up and held her free side and together they just held her and she struggled with the loss of the two children she hadn't even known existed. In her mind flashed a million images of what could have been and what would never be and she knew that she would never forget. Her heart and soul seemed to shatter into dust as the, would be, futures flashed through her in only an instant. For a single moment it felt as if she could have touched them and then it was gone and all she felt was a strange hollowness inside. There was nothing that could change the loss that had been suffered.

* * *

"Shinn…" Lunamaria spoke quietly. "What do we do?"

"I… I don't know…" Shinn replied quietly, his body trembling. "This… this isn't what I wanted!"

"It's not your fault Shinn… you had your orders." Rey pointed out calmly, having just stepped out of his room.

"Do you really think that makes this okay?" Shinn demanded angrily. "She's suffering and it's partially my fault!"

"I thought you hated Athha?" Rey asked cruelly.

"Of course I do! But this… this isn't what I wanted! I wanted her to know… I wanted her to know what I was feeling…" Shinn slammed his fist into the wall much like Athrun had done a couple days ago. "I wanted her to get off her high and mighty horse and know what it meant to suffer…"

"Well that's just stupid Shinn!" Lunamaria shouted.

"It's her…" Rey began but Luna cut him off. "Shut up Rey! I'm sick of your psycho babble and as for you Shinn… What do you think she went through in the first war! She lost her father Shinn, the only family she had…"

"She has that pilot…" Shinn muttered bitterly.

"Do you think that makes a difference Shinn?" Luna snapped angrily. "She didn't even know until her father told her! Hell her father only told her because he was going to go and blow himself up! What do you think she was feeling, knowing what her father was going to do and not being able to stop it?"

"I…" Shinn frowned, feeling backed into a corner.

"You're not the only one who lost loved ones in the war and you're still not the only one in this war. You can't just keep blaming her Shinn, it's not her fault her father chose what he did. I think you need to talk to her… really talk to her, and maybe you will understand that." Luna stated quietly and left the two pilots as she made her way to her own room.

"What are you going to do Shinn?" Rey asked coolly frowning.

"I think… I think I want to talk to her like Luna said." Shinn muttered and walked away down the corridor.

Rey was left alone staring after him with a dark frown.

* * *

"So she's finally awake?" Durandal asked calmly over the vid-link.

"Yes… and from her reaction I think Athrun explained what happened." Gladys stated tiredly.

"You look tired… I've been pushing you to hard." Durandal frowned with cool concern.

"Yes… but you were always one who asked for more than anyone could give... She's hurting Durandal… and I can't say I blame her. Her country has betrayed her and she's lost so much already, but this. She's only a child really." Gladys shook her head sadly. "They're all children, who should never have been burdened like this."

"And yet she has raised a country from its ashes and made it one of the most powerful nations in the world. A child she may be Gladys but one with more power than most could ever dream of, and she let it spoil and rot." Durandal stated bitterly.

"Did she Gilbert? You're forgetting I saw more of her than you… She chose to stay." Gladys reminded him quietly. "I didn't agree with it at the time, but if it weren't for her support the war would have started that much sooner. She warned me that she couldn't guarantee our safety in Orb. I think she realized how little power she had left."

"And look at what she decided to do when that power was lost." Durandal frowned. "She forsook someone she claimed she loved and married for power."

"I don't think she had any choice in the matter Gilbert. You've announced your campaign against Logos, and I saw that list. Most of the current Orb cabinet is on it. I wouldn't be surprised if they manipulated her and forced the marriage. She's a victim and I and my crew owe her Gilbert. I have no doubt in my mind that she held the Orb fleet back from attacking us in that pincer maneuver the Earth Forces put on us. If Orb had attacked in that battle the Minerva would have fallen. I also have no doubt that she truly loves Athrun Zala. They remind me a bit of you and me when we first met."

Durandal stared at her in shock for a moment before nodding. "I knew he was unhappy with playing fiancé to Lacus Clyne, I just didn't understand why."

"That's another thing we need to discuss… I am not stupid Gilbert. Why would you do something so stupid, a fake Lacus Clyne?" Gladys narrowed her eyes and frowned. "This Meer Campbell is not the real Lacus, and I'm shocked that the real Clyne daughter hasn't come out and objected all of this."

"It was merely a publicity maneuver to keep the citizens of the PLANTs calm under the face of this new threat." Durandal frowned. "She has been a great asset to me."

"She's nothing but one of your pawns isn't she… Gilbert what are you thinking?" Gladys sighed. "Have you made arrangements for Representative Cagalli?"

"The Princess will be staying in the best of accommodations on Januarious. I've found to excellently credentialed ZAFT soldiers to play guard for her and her little group. Do not worry my dear; she'll receive nothing but the best of treatment."

"I see… don't play games with her Gilbert, she's not someone you would want to cross. Don't forget she's a very competent Mobile Suit Pilot in addition to being the Chief Representative of the most powerful nation on the earth. She's an enemy you wouldn't survive."

"Her? Not Kira or Athrun?" Durandal chuckled. "Indeed she has made quite the impression hasn't she? Do not worry; I have no intention of making her my enemy."

"For some reason that doesn't reassure me… be careful." Gladys murmured and shut down the link.

In Gibraltar the Chairman stared at the blank screen and smiled cruelly, "always."

* * *

Okay there's the second chapter, and as you can see this is somewhat different from the original story. It's much closer to my original plotline and story and a bit less difficult to write, thankfully. I'm sorry I didn't realize before why I was having such a difficult time writing this story when the bubble sheet and free thought board were so easy, not to mention I got the plotline out like it was a piece of cake. Looking at the differences I can see that I was trying to rush the other storyline to the finish and this story isn't one that I can do that with, no good tale is a short and easy one as a very wise lady once told me. The context was for the lessons life gives you but hey it works for stories as well.

Anyways I hope your enjoying this more and thank you for your considerable patience. Please Review.


	3. Hard Dealt Truths

Disclaimer: I don't own Mobile suit Gundam Seed or Mobile Suit Gundam Seed Destiny.

AN: I've had a lot of comments on how I'm beating pretty heavily on Lord Izumi Nara Athha; especially how he isn't the only reason Cagalli and Kira didn't know they were twins. I will only say this. In the series we as observers know that the Yamatos are aware of the situation and are even more reluctant to explain the truth that Izumi, but the characters in the story are unaware of that. Plus I think it was pretty damn selfish the way he chose to tell Cagalli. I am aware that considering his character there was nothing else he could have done but that doesn't change how Cagalli would feel about it. She was confused and hurt and this story focuses mostly around her. This is not an objective story so obviously I'm not going to write it objectively. In any case I am planning on dealing with Yamatos and there decisions later as well so bear in mind they are going get it as well. In any case I'm excited that so many people are enjoying my story! I hope you continue to Review!

I still need a Beta Reader so if you're interested let me know! AnimeHuntress181 * NetZero*com

Chapter Three: Hard Dealt Truths

* * *

For the first time since meeting Chairman Durandal, Athrun found himself doubting the man and glaring at him. His words were so perfect and they sounded right, but there had been someone who had told him something similar not so very long ago. Cagalli could be stubborn and headstrong, and she usually acted first and then dealt with the consequences rather than think things through, but she had insights that could be surprisingly accurate and wise for someone her age. It was something that had drawn him to her in the first place, that and the fact that she had had the spunk to shoot down his carrier and open fire on him when she found him on the island. Now that he thought of it the Chairman had said something Cagalli had told him in the last war, nearly word for word, but his meaning had been utterly different.

*'What we want to do, what we can do, what we've got to do, it's the same for everyone...and for me to…'* Athrun growled, as he stomped his way back to the Minerva, and to Cagalli's side where he belonged. *How could I have been so stupid!*

He stopped and blinked as he remembered something else Cagalli had told him. *'I guess Coordinators can do stupid things to, so we might as well just get used to it.'*

"Athrun, I swear what is with you?" Shinn demanded from behind him.

"Cagalli once told me something… 'Someone is killed for killing another, then that guy is killed for killing him. How is that kind of twisted thinking ever going to bring us peace?' And for the first time I truly understand what she meant." Athrun stated quietly. "Sometimes we want to fight, sometimes we can fight, and sometimes we have to fight because there isn't any other way, but it is always by our own choice that we fight. Is there really no other way to bring peace other than fighting, and what makes one side better than the other? A soldiers duty is to follow orders, but is it always right to trust the orders we are given? What are the intentions behind them? I won't be his puppet Shinn. I won't just fight because he tells me to; I won't point my gun at someone just because he says they're the enemy!"

"But Logos…" Shinn growled, "Look at what they've done. They created Stellar and they did all those other bad things too!"

"Yes I know that Shinn, but that's not what I'm talking about. Look around you, at one time we were all given orders that the other side was our enemy and now we are united against a common one? Maybe Logos is wrong, but the Chairman is too!" Athrun snapped. "Look at the world Shinn, _people_ are dying for his cause. Innocent people who did nothing wrong but are in the wrong place at the wrong time, or people that others think are wrong! He's created chaos and destruction all over the world for his fight against Logos! And do you know what's worse; those attacks look a hell of a lot like the Bloody Valentine Incident that escalated into a war. I'm not blind Shinn; I won't close my eyes to the realities happening around me just because I don't want to see them, and you shouldn't either!"

"Huh…what… Athrun?" Shinn blinked and tried to figure out just what Athrun was saying. "Maybe some of what you say is true, but what else can we do? Are we supposed to just roll over and let Logos have its way!"

"No… but couldn't we have calmly contact their respective nations and let them take appropriate actions against them?" Athrun demanded. "Why is all of this necessary to end the war? It seems to me like there is something else there, and until I know what it is I won't trust the Chairman's words or intentions for what they seem to sound like."

"I just don't get you," Shinn grumbled and followed along as Athrun turned and continued on his way.

"I've heard that before, plenty of times." Athrun snorted, remembering that it was one of Cagalli's favorite phrases for him. "Shinn, why are you following me?"

"I need to speak to Athha… Luna said I'd better or else." Shin muttered blushing in embarrassment.

"I see, and what exactly are you intending to speak with her about?" Athrun asked carefully, frowning in warning.

"I need to ask her why… why that had to happen to Orb… and I need to apologize, for hurting her and you." Shinn muttered quietly.

"I'm not sure now is a good time…" Athrun warned carefully. "Cagalli's still really weak. She's awake now, but it's not easy seeing her like this. The first time I ever met her she had a gun pointed at me, and now… seeing her like this, I never thought anything could break her like this."

"I truly am sorry… I know it doesn't change what happened but…" Shinn stopped and bowed low. "I apologize for my part in hurting Princess Cagalli Yula Athha and your children!"

"You know, she hates being called _Princess_," Athrun stated calmly. "Shinn… neither me nor Cagalli are angry with you. It's not your fault this happened. Maybe if you had actually been the reason Cagalli got hurt and… miscarried I might feel different, but I honestly don't hate you for what happened. I'm frustrated but not with you, not really anyways."

"But if I hadn't attacked the Freedom…" Shinn exclaimed

"You had your orders and you are a soldier," Athrun stated flatly. "Come on, maybe Cagalli will get it through your head."

"So you really don't hate me?" Shinn asked, his voice only hinting at how desperately he didn't want to be hated.

"Shinn… I understand better than I want to why you did what you did. I had a friend, a good comrade of mine, and Kira killed him. In Kira's defense I don't think it was his intention to kill Nicole, but it still happened. When we fought again, I killed his friend Tolle. I hope I never become so blinded by that kind of rage ever again. I nearly killed my best friend for revenge." Athrun choked out bitterly. "I kept trying to make excuses for what I'd done. I said he was a Coordinator and that he had betrayed us. I said he wasn't on my side and that I had no choice to kill him. I tried so damn hard to justify my actions… It was Cagalli who showed me the truth. I wasn't fighting to protect, and I wasn't fighting for my orders. I was fighting to kill because someone I cared about had been killed, and that is what war is and that's what I want to stop. You asked me why I fight… Cagalli and the others are the reason why Shinn and so is Nicole and Tolle. Because I never want to see people a care about hurt over needless deaths, and I don't believe that Chairman Durandal's ways are how we stop that from happening."

Shinn stared at him with open shock as they waited for the cleaning process to finish.

"Hey Athrun, any news about…" Kira blinked and stared at the boy he had met at the memorial. "It's you!"

"You're the pilot of the Freedom?" Shinn asked stunned.

"You two have met?" Cagalli asked tiredly from where she was propped up with pillows, watching the news.

"He was at the Memorial in Orb," Shinn replied quietly.

"The one… in honor of your family and several others," Cagalli murmured sadly.

"How…?" Shinn asked startled.

"You were so angry with me when we first met… I figured there had to be a reason behind it. Kisaka was the one that found out and told me about it." Cagalli answered softly.

"I guess that makes sense," Shinn conceded grudgingly.

"It would seem I owe you an apology… I didn't mean for your family to die. It's not an excuse but…"

"That's what I want to know! I want to know why! Why didn't Orb just join the ZAFT forces or something, anything but what they did?" Shinn demanded angrily. "Why did _that_ have to happen!"

"Shinn there isn't an easy answer to that," Athrun warned him cautiously but Cagalli held up a hand to stop him from saying anything else. When she spoke her voice was quiet but strong and completely void of emotion.

"Mr. Auska what happened to your family was terrible but what you are suggesting, either way Orb would have suffered. If we had sided with ZAFT it would had been another Josh-A, and if we'd joined the Alliance it would have been another Panama. There wasn't anything my father or uncle could do but hold to our nation's neutrality. It was the Alliance that wouldn't allow that. They wanted our power and our Mass Driver. They wouldn't even answer our demands for negotiations. Every political action was taken to prevent the attack but our neutrality was only a smokescreen to see Orb fall. You aren't the only one to have lost family in those battles Shinn. There wasn't any one reason to why your family died, they just did, and it was for the greed, for the power and the maniacal revenge of Muruta Azrael. In all honesty had we joined the Alliance something similar would have happened only it would have been Athrun's father, Patric Zala, who held the guns." Cagalli stated flatly. "It honestly wouldn't have mattered if we'd joined one side or the other; the results would have been the same. Orb would have been left in ruins just how it was with my father's and uncle's decisions, but at least with their way most of our people were able to evacuate."

"So you're saying there was nothing? Nothing anyone could have done to stop everything from happening!" Shinn demanded angrily. "If you hadn't brought the Archangel into Orb in the first place…"

"Then it still would have happened." Athrun stated flatly. "At that point there were several things happening that eventually would have lead to a battle with Orb, whether it was by the Earth Alliance or ZAFT. My father was campaigning for office and getting rid of Siegel Clyne and Lacus, and the Earth Forces were then being led by Director Azrael. In the end the world would have been split between the two forces, neither side would have allowed Orb to remain Neutral."

"But why?" Shinn exclaimed angrily.

"For power," Cagalli answered flatly. "Too much power can invite conflict, and I warned Chairman Durandal of that fact. Orb has always been a powerful nation with state of the art technology that often times rivals the Plants. If a side had to be chosen then Orb would have been the deciding factor in the war, but also if a side had been chosen it would have caused civil war too. Orb has always been a country that's accepted Coordinators and Naturals and by choosing a side it would have hurt our people either way."

"It's not right," Shinn growled.

"No it's not, but you aren't the only one to suffer." Kira stated quietly from his bed. "And it's also not right to blame Cagalli for everything that has happened to you. Cagalli had no part in the decisions of her Father and Uncle, and she was just as helpless to prevent their deaths as you were to stop your family's deaths. Maybe she didn't watch them die like you did, but she knew and she couldn't stop it. That is it's own kind of pain and it doesn't make it hurt any less."

"…"

"Shinn, I'm not asking for you to forgive my family for there actions, but you can't keep living in the past. Someday you have to move forward and stop hiding behind your pain." Cagalli told him tiredly, her voice gentle. "It's not easy… no one can understand what your going through, but you can't just hide behind what happened and keep blaming everyone around you for your actions."

"I…" Shin frowned and hid behind his bangs.

"There was something else you wanted to tell her Shinn," Athrun reminded him carefully, distracting the younger pilot from his thoughts. It would take time before Shinn could come to terms with his family's loss.

"What? Oh right…" Shinn took a deep breath and then bowed deeply in Cagalli's direction. "Your Esteemed Highness Princess Cagalli Yula Athha, Chief Representative of the Orb Union I ask for your forgiveness for my part in your injuries and the loss of your children."

Athrun and Kira gaped at the younger pilot in shock and bewilderment, neither had ever heard anyone refer to Cagalli as 'Highness' except when being sarcastic, let alone use her full title to that extent. It was a subtle reminder that Cagalli wasn't just any _Elected Official_ but someone who if Orb had remained a monarchy would have ruled as part of that monarchy. It was a very shocking revelation, if not a complete slap in the face. Cagalli wasn't just the leader of one of the most powerful nations on Earth; she was also the reigning royal of that nation.

Cagalli stared at Shinn's humbled form, and a part of her wanted to be childish and shout at him, but another part, the one she had been raised with all her life as the Princess of Orb demanded she reply honestly. She wanted to rub Shinn's face in his situation as he had done with her back on the Minerva, but the horrible truth was that it really wasn't his fault. It hadn't been her fault that his family had died but as part of the Orb Nobility it had been her responsibility, unlike with Shinn's situation now. There wasn't any one person responsible for her loss, and the fact that she had no one to blame was one of the hardest she had to deal with. She wanted to blame herself, and emotionally she did, but logically she couldn't and it was tearing her up inside. She couldn't place that kind of doubt and guilt on someone else, not out of spite or any other reasoning she could find, that just wasn't who she was. She could only grit her teeth and clench her fists as she hid behind her bangs struggling with her reactions to his unwitting apology.

Taking a deep breath she spoke, though her voice wavered at first and was thick with emotions. "Shinn Auska I can't accept your apology. It's not your fault that I got hurt and it's not your fault that I lost my… babies. I can't blame you for something you didn't do. You didn't tell me to get in my Mobile Suit and go after Kira. You didn't tell me to try and save the Freedom. I did all of those things on my own. I can't resent you for following orders and attacking us, I can be angry that you blame the Freedom for your family's deaths but that's it. I don't hate you Shinn and I won't accept your apology."

Shinn blinked and straightened to look at Cagalli. She wasn't crying but he could see the pain in her eyes and slowly he nodded in acceptance and walked out without saying another word. There wasn't anything he could say, a part of him still blamed himself but Cagalli didn't blame him and it took something painful from him that he hadn't realized he had been holding. It had surprised him when she had responded just as officially as he had pronounced his apology. He had expected her to scream and shout but she hadn't reacted that way at all, and it was obvious that she was hurting, but she hadn't taken it out on him. There was obviously more to the Orb Representative and Princess then he had known, and maybe that was for the best.

"That was weird," Kira stated flatly after a moment.

"I think what was even weirder was the fact that she didn't punch him," Athrun snickered. "Cagalli are you okay?"

"Are you okay?" Cagalli retaliated angrily.

"Not really." Athrun replied tiredly.

"Then why ask me?" Cagalli snapped. "Of course I'm not okay, and I'm not going to be okay for a while! So just shut up about it!"

"You can't hide from this Cagalli," Kira warned her gently.

"I'm aware of that Kira!" Cagalli growled and then shut her eyes and slumped weakly against the pillows. "But I can't deal with it now either… It's not the time or the place!"

Kira could only concede that point. They were all in a very precarious situation regardless of the Chairman's 'goodwill'. None of them knew what would happen next and they could only wait and see. Cagalli was recovering by leaps and bounds by a Natural's stand point but she was far from healed and unlike a Coordinator she was at risk of infection. They couldn't take chances, with Cagalli's health or otherwise.

Athrun calmly reached over turning off the news, reminded of Cagalli's condition by her defeated posture. "Get some rest, I know they want to begin the transfer to the shuttle soon, and who knows what that will entail."

"I hate this," Cagalli muttered tiredly, but let Athrun help her lay back down.

"Yeah, I know." Athrun chuckled.

"We hate it too Cagalli." Kira commented with some amusement. "It's weird not seeing you get pissed at someone for calling you 'Princess'!"

"It was formal apology Kira," Cagalli muttered crossly. "I may not like it but I _am _the Orb Princess. I was raised to be the next Head of State, even if it happened years too soon."

"So you have manners when it's a formal occasion?" Kira teased lightly with a smirk.

"Don't have choice; I can't betray my father's memory like that…" Cagalli yawned. "He was very strict you know… but he did love me. He said he was proud to… have had me for a… daughter. I miss him… and uncle… too…"

"Sleep Cagalli, we'll protect you." Athrun told her gently.

Cagalli only nodded and let herself drift off.

"Athrun?" Kira asked quietly.

"I just realized how far she is from me." Athrun muttered distractedly.

"Yeah, I don't think it ever really occurred to me either." Kira agreed quietly. "She never really puts it out there, and she even runs from it when she can."

"Can I really be with her, Kira? Am I fooling myself?" Athrun asked almost desperately. "I thought I knew, but now I'm not so sure. She's not like us…"

"No she's not…" Kira agreed tiredly. "I think this explains more than it doesn't though… When I first met her and then after that… she always seemed detached from everyone. Even on the Archangel she didn't really socialize with the others, just me. It must have been lonely…"

"I never thought about it, and I've been her aide for over a year and a half, but people always treat her differently." Athrun commented. "She's never reacted to it so I never considered that it might be because of more than her station."

"Back on the Archangel… after everyone found out, they all treated her differently, even Miss Murrue and Mu. I thought they were just upset with her not telling them who she really was, but they never really treated her same again." Kira stated sadly. "I never really blamed her, she was my friend and she always treated me like anyone else. I think one of the reasons she loves you is because you don't see her like that. Athrun you love Cagalli for Cagalli. Doesn't Cagalli love you for who you are and not because of what you are or who your father was?"

"Yeah, I guess you're right," Athrun sighed heavily and ran a hand through his hair. "What about Orb though? Could they ever accept me?"

"I think after the crap with Yuna they'll prefer her to choose her own husband from now on." Kira told him flatly. "That idiot's doing nothing but making a huge mess, and Cagalli's the one who's going to be left cleaning it up."

"I…" Athrun paused and frowned as another thought occurred to him.

"Athrun?" Kira blinked.

"I was going to say that I don't envy her that particular job, but…" Athrun took a deep breath and looked at the pale figure on the bed. "If I want to be part of her life, if I want to take my place at her side then I can't think like that anymore. I've been her aide and I know what her place as Head of the State means, and I would be standing with her."

"Maybe that's the reason Kisaka placed you there in the first place," Kira commented offhandedly.

Athrun looked stunned before he groaned and buried his face in his hands. "I am such an idiot."

"Yeah but I am too… I never saw how much she was hurting. Lacus tried to tell me but I just brushed it off. I never really wanted to deal with the fact that Cagalli was my sister and not just a good friend. I knew she needed me, especially after you left but… I didn't do anything until it was almost too late." Kira muttered angrily, his voice soft, careful of the broken figure on the other bed.

"I guess she was right about that too… Even Coordinators can be fools." Athrun stated wryly, giving that same figure a tired smile, if not a slightly sarcastic one.

* * *

"It seems that I cannot use Athrun as I hoped," Durandal commented calmly.

"I warned you of that when this first came up," Rey reminded the Chairman.

"Yes but I had hoped… it doesn't matter," Durandal shrugged and leaned back with a grin. "For the most part everything is going according to plan, and in some ways even better then plan. Once the Princess is securely within our grasp who knows what new doors will be opened."

Rey frowned slightly but nodded. "It won't be easy, according to the Minerva Medics, Miss Cagalli hates doctors and scientists and anything to do with medical care. She has refused most drugs and has fought with them endlessly about their current medical procedures for her sake. It is unlikely she'll volunteer for something of that nature, despite what advances it might bring Coordinator Society."

"In due time it won't be within her power to stop it." Durandal waved away Rey's concerns. "Besides she would want to help those who have done so much for her during her plight… to do otherwise would be foolish, wouldn't you say?"

"I agree…" Rey answered cautiously. "But Miss Cagalli has never been one to care about appearances sir."

"That is certainly true," Durandal frowned in thought. "I suppose we will simply have to see, but perhaps there is a way to force the issue. Yes indeed that could work. If you'll excuse me Rey I have some plans to make."

"As you wish, sir." Rey saluted and left.

* * *

Okay a bit shorter than normal but it was either this or a super long chapter and I wanted to get this out. I'm already working on the next chapter so no worries. This story is really coming together now and is much easier to write. I know Cagalli's OOC in this chapter but I wanted to reinforce what kind of upbringing she must have had and that how she chooses to act is by her own volition. I also needed Athrun to finally figure out just _what_ Cagalli is and who he would be by marrying her. In both series it seemed like no one really acknowledged that except for Yuna's action in securing power in Orb. The same would apply to Athrun if he married Cagalli. So there you have it.

Please Review.

And I'd appreciate it if someone offered to Beta this! PLEASE!


	4. Unfathomable Lies

AN: I am so sorry everyone that this took so long to write. Unfortunately life has enjoyed kicking me in the teeth and I did warn that the updates would be irregular. This story isn't hard to write anymore but it is time consuming as I am trying to not deviate to far from GS and GSD universe. I also am falling back on the Manga's somewhat, and lets just say they're as good as the anime. Anyhow I hope you enjoy and if someone wants to BETA this story I'm still looking for someone. Thanks and please continue to Review!

Chapter Four: Unfathomable Lies

* * *

It had been two more days since the day the Minerva had arrived at Gibraltar and Cagalli as well as Kira and Athrun were finding the wait to be very frustrating. It had only been a little over a week since everything had happened, and Cagalli's condition was still very precarious despite her insistence to the otherwise. She continually insisted on watching the ongoing news whenever she was awake, which was more often than the Medics would like, due to the fact that she refused many of the medications they would have liked to see her on. She was in pain from her injuries and emotionally she was a mess and none of it was having a positive affect on her body. Her immune system was still dangerously low and her body was astoundingly weak because of it. She could barely sit up on her own and at her own insistence had to be carried to the bathroom and aided by a nurse for whatever she needed. Kira and Athrun were frustrated with what was happening as much as she was, and not only because she was taking it out on them, but because it was hard to see her like this. At least in the PLANTs where the gravity was less Cagalli would have an easier time in recovering and they wouldn't have to take so many precautions against her getting ill in the controlled atmosphere.

To add to it all of everything, someone had leaked Cagalli's condition and loss as well as the dynamic details of her and Athrun to the world. To make matters worse someone was releasing classified footage of several cabinet meetings and revealing her complete opposition to joining the Alliance as well as Yuna's and Unato's blatant manipulation of the situation. Private footage of her stay at the Seiran Estate and the treatment she received as well as several statements from individual witnesses had also made its way to the public as well. Orb was in a state of chaos and it only the Seiran's current status of power that prevented the Orb Citizens from having them run out of the country. Unfortunately the Seiran's still had plenty of political clout and the situation in Orb was deteriorating rapidly. Civil unrest was at an all time high and it appeared that civil war might break out at any time, and Cagalli was in the Gibraltar base unable to do a thing about it. That too had been released to the public and many more of the Orb military had defected to join Chairman Durandal's fight.

"This doesn't look good," Kira stated quietly from where he sat behind Cagalli, supporting her so she could sit and watch the news and so he could more closely monitor her condition.

"Really Kira? I thought it looked great!" Cagalli snapped sarcastically.

Kira only sighed, becoming used to her snipes as her exhaustion and pain wore on her.

"Hey, not good huh?" Athrun muttered as he came in. "Well at least I have something else for you. The Chairman has finally arranged a transport and has acquisitioned a Media and Political Conference to 'clear the air'."

"He's done what!" Kira demanded angrily. "Cagalli's in no condition for something like that!"

"Oh it gets better… we have two hours to get ready." Athrun growled.

"I see…" Cagalli glared blindly at the news screen. "Live Broadcast on a global scale?"

"From what I can gather and it's uncensored as well." Athrun stated quietly. "I'm certain he want's to play on your current condition and make you into an ultimate victim of this war. He's trying to garner the world's favor, but I have no idea for what. Oh and he has placed me as the official Liaison of ZAFT and ORB, 'as sign of favor and to promote peace between out two great nations.'"

"Cagalli?" Kira frowned, certain that his sister would have exploded in a fit by now.

"He's got another thing coming if he thinks he can use me as his fucking puppet!" Cagalli snarled angrily. "I am no one's victim! I am no one's tool! I am Cagalli Yula Athha and I'll be damned if I let him play with what happened to me like I was a pawn on a chess board!"

"What do you plan to do?" Athrun frowned carefully, eyeing her warily, experience had taught him that a determined and angry Cagalli was more of a force than many wanted to reckon with.

For a long time Cagalli was silent but when she looked up at Athrun her eyes were once again that blazing amber gold that they had been when he had first met her. Kira too noticed her sudden change in attitude, as if a switch had been flipped and the old Cagalli had merely been turned off and now turned back on. For the first time in a long time now Cagalli had the fierce determination and the obstinate stubbornness that was so much a part of her. Calmly she shut off the news broadcast that was now describing exactly what Athrun had told them. Letting her body relax she let herself be filled with the strength and support of Athrun and Kira.

"I plan to let his actions speak for themselves." Cagalli murmured quietly. "Despite my health he set this up, and on top of that he attacked the Archangel which put me in this position in the first place, for the most part anyways. Let him answer for his actions."

"Cagalli…" Kira frowned.

"Somehow it feels like we… like none of us mean anything to him. It's like we're all players in a game and our actions are strategic maneuvers to be played out. Never once did I feel that he cared about anything but himself and his own plans." Cagalli stated after a while. "I'm not going to let him use me like that and I won't let him use what happened like that. We lost our children, Kira. I lost the babies I didn't even know existed. Mine and Athrun's! Not someone else's but ours, and I won't let him use them that way! He will not tarnish the innocence of what could have been like that. I won't let him!"

"Cagalli…" Athrun pulled her in a tight hug and simply held her while Kira supported both of them from his place behind Cagalli.

All Cagalli could do was take strength from their presence and cry.

Not long after a nurse arrived to help her clean up and get ready for the conference, and for once Cagalli didn't protest wearing a dress. Every little bit would count in this final gamble to open the eyes of the public. The nurse helped her bathe and pull up her hair and even helped her apply a light bit of makeup. Her only protest was the wheelchair that they all wanted to place her in.

"No!" Cagalli snarled, glaring at the two doctors, Kira and Athrun and the nurse.

"Cagalli, you can't possibly walk!" Kira exclaimed in frustration.

"I am NOT going in a wheelchair!" Cagalli ground out.

"Cagalli!" Athrun growled angrily.

"No!" Cagalli snapped.

"Please Miss, in your condition…" one of the doctors tried to plead.

"I will not go in that _damned _thing!" Cagalli stated viciously. "I _will not _be so weak!"

"Fine!" Athrun snapped and marched over to her position on the bed and swept her into his arms.

"Athrun!" Cagalli yelped in shock.

"I won't let you walk and you won't use the chair, this will have to do. Either take it or leave it!" Athrun snapped.

"Fine…" Cagalli muttered obstinately, "not like your giving me choice…"

"You agreed, now stop wiggling or I'll drop you…" Athrun muttered right back.

Cagalli sighed and settled, the truth was that she couldn't walk, no matter how much she wanted to, her body just wasn't up to the task, and a small bit of her had missed being held by Athrun like this, with just them. Okay Kira was there, but somehow this felt different. Athrun wasn't running away, he was _/Athrun/_ and he was holding her and he was going to hold her in front of the entire world. He knew who she was… and he wasn't backing down from it. He understood at least partially what it would mean to be beside her and here he was holding her, not just helping her, but standing at her side as a part of her. She wasn't sure if he realized what he was doing, but for whatever reason he was doing it, she was grateful and took strength from it. Chairman Durandal was about to realize that she was no mere girl, or foolish princess, she was Cagalli Yula Athha the Lioness of Orb, the Goddess of Victory, and she was an absolute force to be reckoned with.

Chairman Durandal thought he could use her, she would use him instead. She would use this chance to insure that the world opened it's eyes and that ORB stood upon it's own feet even without her presence. She was not the daughter of Uzumi Nara Athha for nothing. Maybe she had not been born into ORB's royalty but she had been raised as such, and what's more she had been molded to be the next leader of ORB. She may have protested it and been stubborn but she had never been able to ultimately forget her duty. In many ways her actions had been her own way of fulfilling that duty. Not many had understood, and perhaps she hadn't always understood it either, but that was simply who she was. She was stubborn, foolish, proud, and strong, she was Cagalli Yula Athha, faults and all.

As they approached the crowded area, it was certainly a stunning scene they made. Truly it was like something out of a fairytale. The Red Knight, holding his princess, protecting her against the world. The Solemn White Guard, a calm and steady presence at their side, ready to jump into action should either need it. A Princess, the image of gold and silk beauty and quiet strength that seemed unparalleled and sad sort of knowledge from knowing more than one ought to know, from bearing the burden of a people rather that merely oneself and or loved ones. With the sun setting behind them it was picturesque. The Nurse holding the IV and the doctors behind the trio seemed to be invisible in the presence of these three strong figures. All those present seemed stunned by the image the three presented, and many reporters feared that despite all the latest technology the world couldn't possibly comprehend what stood before them.

It was with sudden shock and a small bit of clarity that Chairman Durandal realized that perhaps this would not go as he had planned, and there was nothing he could do about it. He had so graciously offered the news to be broadcasted globally wide, and with more than a few of those reporters and officials being of the PLANTs and of the Moon Cities, it was certain that these images and words were being broadcasted via several relays to reach every living soul in the surrounding space. Gritting his teeth, the Chairman could only hope that Athha's usual penchant for foolishness would trip her up, he didn't like how the surrounding military were responding to her and her fools anymore than he like how the officials and the reporters were responding.

As soon as they came to a stop in full view of all presence, chaos ensued as questions were barked and exclamations and demands were made all at once.

"That is enough," Cagalli stated calmly her voice strong, though not raised, carried over the excited throng and they quickly fell to silence. "Thank you, I'm afraid my present condition is not very strong… I will answer questions but please wait to be acknowledged."

"Is it true about you and Athrun carrying on an affair behind Yuna Seiran's back?" A rather outlandish reporter demanded out of turn.

"Certainly not, I was aware of the betrothal but I was also aware of my father's knowledge of my being against it. I was told that he was going to see what could be done about the situation. I was completely confident that the betrothal had been abolished, and when I found out otherwise I personally began to work on abolishing it." Cagalli stated flatly. "Yuna and I were never a couple, and to be franc most of the time I couldn't stand him. Had I been in my right of mind I would not have allowed him to manipulate me as he did. His views have never matched my own and both my father and I had thought it would be worse for the country of ORB should he be placed in such a position of power. Please remember, before the Bloody Valentine War, the Seiran's though of a Noble house were not one of the Representatives of ORB. Too much upset from the War caused their rise, and using their connection to me gave them more power than they could ever have possibly had. My only hope is that the People of ORB and the Military of ORB understand this, legally both Seiran's are currently working outside of their jurisdictions. Especially with my confirmed existence, despite not currently being within ORB, I am still the Chief Representative of ORB and the Reigning Heir of ORB's Nobility, the Princess of ORB. Unless proven to be a fraud, my position cannot be removed."

"Are you saying the current actions of the Seiran's are against your wishes and desires for your country?"

"Absolutely." Cagalli stated firmly. "ORB's ideals are not simply just that, they are our laws. So far the Representatives have Illegally allied with the Alliance, my signature never touched that paper, and have Illegally deployed troops outside of Sanctioned ORB territory. Many fruitless deaths can fall upon the Seiran's and the other Representatives hands. I am not guiltless in this, I should have done more, no matter what the situation I was in a position to stop this and I didn't…"

"Is it true that you were on the Archangel when it declared war?" Someone else spoke up.

"Your information is completely wrong. The Archangel never declared war, who would they declare war on? ZAFT? Earth? No they interceded in meaningless battles in an attempt to stop the War from escalating. Yes this caused chaos on the battlefield, but as we had never declared either side an enemy and did not kill anyone within those battle the Archangel was merely a third presence. Had the soldiers concentrated more on who /_was_/ their proclaimed enemy then many deaths could have been prevented. Yes I was there and I did my best to try and call back ORB's military to ORB. Yes, it was foolish, but I had to do something! My people were dying, and for nothing but the stupid whim of a man, a man who knew nothing of battle tactics but had proclaimed himself Commander and Chief."

"You yourself have held such a position, are you saying you are more qualified?" a military officer demanded.

"I know I am, first off it is required that all 'Reigning Heir's' go through Military School. I graduated at the top of my class, and I was Commander and Chief when we held off the Earth Alliance in the First War. Yuna never went to Military School, and most of his time was spent abroad in different frivolous private schools. He is unbelievably under qualified for the position, and I state once again that he is in know real position to proclaim himself as such. The next in line would be the highest ranked Naval Officer. As Representatives, in times of war, they have no legal hold to the military actions. This is so the military can react without political interception and uphold the laws and ideals of ORB. The Military should never have been deployed from ORB's territories."

"What of the Archangel, what of the Freedom both entered battles outside ORB Territorries." A Reporter demanded.

"Both the Archangel and the Freedom have never been offially allied with ORB. Not even during the time of the Three Ship Alliannce. They have helped ORB or whatever nation they could, including Scandinavia, and the PLANTs, and so on, because it is their wish not to see conflict. Freedom was the one who stopped the Destroyer at that time. In return ZAFT at Chairman Durandal's Orders hunted and attack the Archangel when it offered no actions meriting such an attack."

"Chairman Durandal is this true? I thought it was the Impulse that had destroyed that machine!" Someone else exclaimed.

"It's true," Shinn spoke up ignoring the grip Rey had on his arm. "I was the pilot of the Impluse, and I couldn't even attack the Destroyer, someone I loved was piloting it. I attacked the Freedom instead, and Stellar died because of it. She was one of the Alliance's Soldiers, 'Modified Soldier' created through medical enhancements to fight on a level equal to a Coordinator. I had met her before the war had really started and hadn't known who she was, but in the end it was my actions that led to her death, though I wasn't the one who wielded the blade."

"This is unbelievable, what other lies are there?" Someone muttered.

"Chief Representative Athha, how is it you came to be injured in the first place? How did you even come to be in the hands of ZAFT?"

"During the attack against the Archangel, the Impulse was sent out against the Freedom, the pilot of which is standing right beside me, and as some of you know is my biological twin brother. The Archangel was in a desperate retreat from the ocean, but I felt that something was wrong. I defied the captain of the Archangel and suited up and jumped into Strike Rouge and launched once the Archangel was submerged. I was trying to recover Kira when an unknown explosion, suspected from the destruction of Archangel caught the Strike Rouge. My Mobile Suit was never meant for underwater combat despite the modifications for it, my suit was compromised, and with my condition of unknowingly being pregnant it made the situation that much worse. According to the techs, my cockpit exploded inward on me and add freezing waters and such… It is of no surprise that I miscarried." The bitterness and pain that laced her words were such that no one doubted the agony this loss had caused.

"Forgive me Miss Athha but is it true that the unborn children you carried were Commander Athrun Zala's?" The outlandish reporter asked in a more subdued voice.

"Yes, there is no doubt." Cagalli stated tiredly placing her head on Athrun's shoulder.

"Princess Cagalli I would like to offer my deepest condolences for your's and Commander Zala's loss. Nothing can express my sorrow for the pain you both must be suffering right now." Chairman Durandal interrupted the proceedings, bowing deeply before them.

"Then do you care to explain why you attacked the Archangel when she was doing nothing to attack? She was running, and trying to return me to ORB. Until you can tell me that with a reasonable explanation then I will not accept your Condolences." Cagalli looked up from Athrun's shoulder, her voice strong and her eyes a fierce gold. "The Archangel was and will always be a ship who fights for peace. She does not a have any single nation, like the Eternal, and her sole purpose is to protect peace and prevent this world from destroying itself. Yes she entered battle again, but she did not simply attack ZAFT or the Alliance forces. She fought against both to stop a stupid battle that would create innocent sacrifices. So tell me why attack her? Why destroy the Freedom when it was the Freedom that stopped the Destroy in Berlin? I accept your concern for my welfare and your desire to see a peaceful world, but I'll not tolerate lies and half truths! Not when that is what has brought all of us to this point!"

The Chairman and everyone present stared at Cagalli stunned; even Kira and Athrun were startled. She was calling the Chairman on his actions openly and backing him into a political corner.

"Princess Cagalli…" The Chairman began.

"I have asked you repeatedly to call me Representative Cagalli. I am a princess, but more than that, I am the Chief Representative of ORB. My nation and my people are my responsibility as the PLANTs are yours." Cagalli told him carefully. "I may not be with my country right now, or even approve of the moves the Cabinet have made, but that doesn't lessen the fact that the people of ORB are mine to protect and aid however I can. I have lost something dear, and it's a pain I haven't felt since both my father and ORB went down in flames for the ideals of my nation. To lose someone and to see so many die whom you are responsible for is not something you can easily cast aside, if you can do that then you have no place ruling a nation or leading a people. Tell me Chairman do you care anything for those who give their lives for your orders? Or are you worried about public opinion? My people have died because of you and the idiocy of other's, I will not forget this and your actions I have found to be unforgivable."

"Cagalli…" Athrun whispered.

"I will deal with what I've told you and revealed to the public as I have to, but I will stand by what I'm saying. You are a powerful man Chairman Durandal and you play a very ruthless game, but I fear that is all you are doing. The world and the PLANTs are not your pawns and knights. Your campaign against LOGOs is a good one, but where does that leave the world? You have turned the world into chaos and I'm not foolish enough not to see who is leading the world right now. A lot of those people were incredibly influential and I have no doubt that what they did is wrong, but instead of seeking justice from their respective nations you have created riots and chaos and I can see only you gaining power from the ensuing chaos. What I see now is a chaos that broke out when Blue Cosmos began the Bloody Valentine, and they were nothing but a terrorist group that murdered innocents, but you know I hold you as the same for all of this." Cagalli gasped and trembled but glared fiercely at the Chairman. "There is a lot you have to answer for Chairman, and call me an /Idiot/ if you want too but I won't trust you or your intentions and condolences until you answer for them. I don't like how you're trying to dictate and delegate the situations around you with only half truths. Maybe it wasn't you who tried to get the real Lacus killed but I don't think anyone else could have ordered or let a group of ZAFT specials slip by to attack her in ORB."

"What?" the Chairman stared at her.

"The real Lacus?" Someone asked and murmurs of confusion erupted.

"Wasn't she in the PLANTs?"

"There's never been any proof of her being there before…"

"It makes sense that she'd stay in ORB…"

"I don't believe…" The Chairman began to say, but was interrupted by a ZAFT Commander.

"It would explain about the incident regarding a Lacus Clyne hijacking a Shuttle with someone whom several witnesses stated looked similar to an Andrew Waltfeld. The Other Lacus' Entourage seemed rather confused as to how to address the situation at the time." The Commander stated flatly, his eyes cold and angry.

Unrest immediately erupted, several times Cagalli had called the Chairman's words into question, and every time someone, or facts, had spoken in her favor against the Chairman. More and more the clever web he had woven to gain favor was unraveling before the entire planet, PLANTs, and Moon. Civilians and Military alike were witnessing the obvious deceit the Chairman had commanded. It left little doubt about his current actions, and where did that leave Cagalli, whom he currently had in his clutches. Anger stirred in all, especially the ORB people, whom had loved their Princess. Actions would now be taken as the truth slowly began to come to light, the world was not Chairman Durandal's Puppets, and neither were the PLANTs or ZAFT, or anyone else.

"Sirs the Shuttle is ready and our window is open. We should get the Representative and her escort onboard." The Captain of the shuttle commented calmly, subtley interrupting the situation.

"I see, very well then. I'm sorry you feel that way Princess… I truly hope you get well…" The Chairman bowed again and stepped aside. *Damn you Cagalli Yula Athha! You will pay for this, how meddlesome you have become. I have underestimated you.*

Cagalli was panting slightly and Athrun could feel her body tremble in his grip, but he knew she had had to say something. He too had wanted to, but his training had interfered and he had still been confused and angry when he was in the hangar with Shinn. They walked onto the shuttle and he laid Cagalli on the cot that had been prepped for her arrival. He sat in the seat beside her while Kira took the other one. The medic left and was replaced by another and then they lifted off. Cagalli was given a sedative to help relieve the strain her public announcements and the confrontation with the Chairman had caused.

"This is going to make things difficult." Kira stated quietly.

"…" Athrun paused thinking over the recent events. "We have to protect her, more so now. She's made a very strong enemy… and at the same time she has made more alliances than can be imagined. She's turned the world upside down… again."

"It seems to be a habit of hers." Kira muttered irately. "Couldn't she just be normal for once?"

"Normal is not something I would ever think of Cagalli as," Athrun grinned suddenly. "She's Cagalli, you know. Look at everything she did back then and what she's done now, is it really that surprising?"

"No… I guess not, but it's sure going to cause problems for us…" Kira sighed. "Where are we staying anyways?"

"Apparently on Januarius, with 'Lacus.'" Athrun muttered tiredly. "It was another ploy, to reaffirm Lacus as the real one and that there were no hard feeling between me and her, and that all of this was some kind of misunderstanding."

"Well that was shot to hell," Kira growled. "I'm still not that happy with you for participating in that ploy, either… but I think I understand now."

"I'm just hoping that Cagalli doesn't kill her." Athrun muttered tiredly.

"I think you might be asking for too much… Athrun, for her, your being with this Meer girl was like her almost marrying Yuna was for you… She didn't show it but I know it hurt her, and not only her but Lacus too. You have a lot to answer for, and not just to Cagalli." Kira warned carefully.

"Yeah," Athrun sighed.

* * *

Okay there you have it. Another Chapter! Jump and cheer my glorious Reviewers! Just kidding. I know this chapter doesn't bring a lot of progress but it is keeping the story progressing. I'm going to try and get the next chapter out sooner, but it's kind of hard at the moment so I'm not going to make any promises. I hope you enjoyed this chapter and keep reading. Thank you and please Review.


	5. Strength Encumbered Unveiled

AN: Okay folks here's the next chapter. Sorry it took so long, I'm hoping have the next chapter out in short order but we'll see. Anyways please enjoy and as always if some wants to Beta I'd appreciate it! Enjoy!

PS: I just wanted to really thank my reviewers, I've gotten some awesome and insightful reviews and I want to let you all know that they helped inspire me to keep going even though times are tough right now. So thank you for those awesome reviews!

Chapter Five: Strength Encumbered Unveiled

* * *

Though the trip to the PLANTs was uneventful, their arrival was anything but. Their docking was met with all the pomp and publicity of any esteemed high standing guest, politician or otherwise. The crowd that turned out was neither aggressive nor completely friendly, after all Cagalli had called out their leader, but for the most part it was agreed that the possibility of Chairman Durandal being in the wrong. What most wanted to see was the princess who was so powerful as to do all that she had done, including call out their Chairman without any prominent consequences. In many ways since the first war, Cagalli had become as famous in the PLANTs as Lacus Clyne, and not simply because she was the Princess and Leader of the only nation to rival the PLANTs in technology. It was Cagalli herself and her accomplishments during the war. She had held off an entire Earth Alliance fleet and had captained the Kusanagi during the Three Ship Alliance and she had defended the PLANTs while Piloting the Strike Rouge. When the war had ended she had returned to Orb and in two short years she had rebuilt Orb to more then it's formal glory, and on top of all of that, Orb was one of the few countries that freely accepted Coordinators and had little to no civil unrest despite that fact. Cagalli Yula Athha the Princess of Orb and Chief Representative of her Nation led a country that in its entirety proved that Naturals and Coordinators could co-exist. That was the person that many of the PLANT civilians wanted to see, not the puppet she seemed to have become. They would not be disappointed, and with two of most famous soldiers from the previous war as her guards it would be the moment of the century.

"What the hell was she thinking?" Yzak snarled as he stomped into the shuttle.

"Come on Yzak, it's not like she lied or anything," Dearka sighed. "But this kind of explains a lot, and to think Athrun…"

"That idiot!" Yzak growled. "What the hell was he even doing in the PLANTs, and rejoining ZAFT… how could he be so stupid!"

"You're the one who wanted him to re-join in the first place!" Dearka snapped in frustration.

"Yeah but I didn't think he'd be so stupid as to become the Chairman's Puppet Soldier! I don't see why he was in the PLANTs to begin with! What the hell did he think he could do with no official Orb status and as ZAFT deserter?"

"I was thinking there must be something I could do," Athrun told them flatly.

"Oh and like Re-joining ZAFT was going to help anything, you know sometimes you really are and idiot," Dearka stated sarcastically. "You joined, if not an enemy's military, another nation's military knowing full well you might have to fight against your girlfriend's nation. Maybe you didn't know she was pregnant but you knew who she was and what she meant to her nation. It was a pretty stupid thing to do. You could have joined the Orb's military and helped by standing at her side, not running off on some dumb notion."

"You know Dearka, you don't say much that is intelligent but when you do it's pretty insightful," Kira stated calmly from beside Athrun.

Athrun visibly winced while Kira sighed.

"Just what the hell were you thinking!" Yzak demanded. "Not to mention playing boyfriend to that fake Lacus, were you _trying_ to get your ass killed!"

"Look right now isn't the time to be discussing this," Dearka stated tiredly. "How's Cagalli?"

"Tired, but managing," Kira huffed in frustration. "Taking on more then she should in her condition. I think the Chairman was planning on using her current condition in his favor, but Cagalli hates doctors and hospitals, and since we're in the PLANTs, which is essentially a sterile environment she's refusing to be hospitalized."

"She's pretty smart for a Natural," Yzak commented, frowning. "Our orders were to take her to a research hospital that focuses on Coordinator reproduction."

"_**WHAT**_!" both Kira and Athrun shouted angrily.

"Jeese, it's not that shocking, she conceived naturally and carried beyond what most Coordinator women can successfully without problems, and she did so in a very strained and stressful situation. Hell for a Natural woman what she accomplished is shocking. You both know the situation up here, it's only reasonable that they would want to know how she did it." Dearka told them angrily. "I may not agree with it but I do understand it, and she caught on before you guys did. She's really something."

"If she can pull off a good entrance into the PLANTs then our not taking her to the medical facilities will be seen as redundant." Yzak commented frowning. "You think your precious princess can pull it off?"

"Even if she couldn't she would do it," Kira commented wryly, "She's too stubborn…"

"Well this will be interesting then," Dearka muttered.

"Are you kidding this is going to be a disaster! Even if she can convince the crowds how do you think she's going to react to that fake Lacus?" Yzak demanded angrily.

"I think Athrun is going to get it," Dearka grinned wickedly. "It should be fun."

"To say the least, Athrun won't be the only one to get it. Cagalli's been itching to have a go at that Meer girl." Kira stated flatly. "I don't blame her either, Lacus is Cagalli's friend and considering what Lacus means to me… I'm sure not going to step into it. Cagalli's something to be reckoned with when the people she deems as 'hers' are hurt."

Dearka winced while Athrun paled a bit. With Cagalli being so out of character they had all forgotten how she could be when she was protecting those she loved. It made sense in more ways then one. Cagalli had been raised as the Princess of Orb and so had led a very isolated childhood with the majority of her outside contacts sizing her up to see how best to use her to their own personnel advantage. Her people had adored her but in reality there were very few people who had known Cagalli for herself and so very few that she could trust or allow herself to care about. In the end no matter how much Cagalli may have protested her status as Orb's Princess there was no way for her to escape it. In the end this made for a very possessive Cagalli who was fiercely loyal and viciously protective. She held nothing back when those she had deemed as hers were in danger or placed in a questionable situation. This 'Lacus' had impersonated one of her dearest friends, hurting the real lacus deeply, and since the real Lacus was with Kira he had been hurt in the process as well. To say the least Cagalli had a thousand or more reasons to lay this girl out, and heaven help any who tried to get in her way.

"Oh, hell," Athrun groaned, "I hadn't thought of that…"

"He's got a Lion by the tail and doesn't know it; the PLANTs are going to be lucky if there are even pieces to pick up!" Kira muttered with a groan.

"What the hell are you idiots talking about!" Yzak raged at them glaring darkly.

"If you thought those announcements she made were bad… just wait until she gets going. Cagalli isn't someone I would want to face going at full steam. She's vicious. I don't know her very well, but she… the one time I saw someone try to hurt Kira…" Dearka smirked. "Let's just say that the idiot didn't know what hit him. It was an EA officer who was trying to bring Kira up on War crimes. Cagalli had all the dirt she could get on him within an hour and had him facing not only a court martial but treason and several other charges. She doesn't pull her punches when she's protecting those she deems worthy of her protection. Do you really think she was Captain of the Kusanagi or the pilot of the Strike Rouge for nothing? She was protecting the ideals of her county, but more then that she was protecting the lives of her people and Kira and maybe a little bit of Athrun too."

"…" Yzak blinked startled, then smirked evilly. "Well they get what they deserve."

"Oh thanks Yzak." Athrun muttered.

"Cagalli are you almost ready?" Kira asked through the door, trying to hide his smile.

"Yeah," Cagalli muttered from where she sat on the cot, glaring at the medic.

"I am doing this under protest," the medic muttered as he flinched under her glare.

"I don't care; the environment is clean so I won't be risking infection unless we don't treat my open wounds. My immune system is low but the PLANTs are a sterile environment." Cagalli told the medic flatly.

"Yes but you're really not strong enough to…"

"I'm stronger then you think and I will not be so _weak_!" Cagalli snarled.

"Cagalli?" Kira asked softly, his tone filled with worry.

"I'll be fine; how far is it to the car?" Cagalli asked calmly.

"A couple hundred feet, and they've pretty much rolled out the red carpet. Half of Januarius and their mothers seem to be here." Dearka grinned. "Think you can handle it Princess?"

"I better, and don't call me _Princess_!" Cagalli snapped and huffed. "Athrun I'll walk on your arm, you'll have to hide it if I falter. If I recall right, the transport areas are low artificial gravity, so it won't be until we exit the station that I'll have too many issues, but Artificial Gravity has never been my forte in a skirt. Kira I want you just behind my right shoulder, you're my brother and my right hand man, both you and Athrun are as much a part of this image as I am. Dearka you're flanking right? I want you on Kira's right, Commander Joule will be our escort and host slightly ahead of us on our right."

"…" Yzak didn't say a thing though his eyes narrowed angrily. "Shall we then?"

Cagalli only nodded and stood shakily, Athrun catching her and bracing her against his body, in a supportive intimate way that only someone comfortable and familiar with each other could accomplish. Kira fell in just behind her right shoulder with Dearka on his right, and leading them all with his head high and his mannerisms proud was Yzak. The whole of the PLANTs were anticipating this moment and none of them were going to disappoint. Just as Athrun, Kira and Cagalli had shown a united front against the Supreme Chairman, they now again united to show the PLANTs that Cagalli was anything but weak.

As she floated out of the shuttle and lightly touched down on the walkway millions of flashes went off as civilians and newscasters struggled to get that perfect one shot of her. While on earth she had worn a beautiful gold silk dress that was more similar to the PLANTs fashion, here and now she wore a soft green shift like gown that flowed around her like water in the low gravity. Most PLANT fashions offered stiff or tight skirts due to the low gravity, Cagalli's dress on earth had been gold and white accented tube like dress, but now she wore a dress quite similar to the ones she often wore to official social functions. It only seemed to strengthen her position as the Orb Princess. As she and Athrun followed Yzak, with Kira and Dearka right behind them, it seemed as if an inner strength had settled around Cagalli, filling her with power and determination. With head held high and Athrun at her side she was every bit the Princess that the PLANTs had anticipated. She didn't hide her pain, it seemed be as much a part of her as that strength and determination that blazed like her namesake within her. She was hurting but she wouldn't let it destroy her or her people, she had responsibilities to uphold. In only moment Cagalli had won over the people of the PLANTs, and not because of her loss or her position but for her determination and strength to protect and see things through.

"Well that went well," Yzak muttered as they all took their seats in the car.

"Better then we could have hoped," Kira sighed. "Cagalli?"

"I'm fine," Cagalli murmured tiredly from Athrun's shoulder.

"You know your something else Princess," Dearka smirked.

"Don't call me _Princess_!" Cagalli growled, but there wasn't a lot of effort in it, and with her eyes closed and her body leaning into Athrun's side it made for even less of an impact.

"You know… you _are_ a princess. Why don't you like to be called one?" Dearka asked after a moment.

"Oh boy," Kira groaned, having heard the reasons a hundred times before.

"I'm not one of those frilly poofs in fairy tales, I'm the real thing, but no one ever seems to realize theirs a difference! I'm a person not some damsel in distress awaiting her fairy godmother or knight in shining armor! I'll damn well save myself!" Cagalli opened her eyes to glare at Dearka. "I got tired of the comparisons years ago, especially when all I did was come up short to those foolish expectations."

"Guess that makes sense." Dearka stated thoughtfully.

"What doesn't make sense is how you could let those bastards control you!" Yzak demanded angrily.

"Yzak!" Athrun snapped angrily.

"Do you really think I wanted that? Do you think I wanted to be weak? I had dedicated two years of my life rebuilding Orb only to be told my efforts weren't good enough anymore. They needed me while Orb was in chaos because of my position with the people of Orb and other nations, but once it stabilized they didn't 'need' me anymore and I began to loose my power over their actions. It was just fine when I was getting everything done and all they had to do was sit on their asses and wait for the results, but once I had accomplished everything they thought needed to be done they began to fight me at every turn. You've been on the PLANT council how well did the others listen to you?" Cagalli demanded. "It's not as simple as making your demands and expecting them to be met, and I'm half their age if even that. They saw me as a child, no matter who my father was."

"She's got a point Yzak," Dearka mediated calmly. "Even as a commander you've run into that kind of resistance."

"Shut up! I know, but she's different!" Yzak snarled.

"How? How am I different? Because I'm a princess? A Natural? What?" Cagalli snarled, suddenly furious. "What could I have possibly done to change this outcome? What could I have done to save my children! My people! My country! **You tell me that**!"

"I…" Yzak blinked struggling to form some type of answer.

"I would give anything to take some of my actions back, but you know what at the time most of them were all that was left to me. None of them were right, but what the hell else could I have done at the time! Do you think I didn't try? I fought tooth and nail, but guess what I'm only one person Joule, Princess or not!" Cagalli shouted viciously. "I am only human and no human can stand solely on their own… and that's what happened. I was alone. I would do anything to turn back Time and save my children and nation. I would do anything to turn back Time to the first war and save my father, but we can't live in the past. There is only the future and the hope that we can learn from our mistake and change for the better."

Kira and Athrun flinched as did Dearka and Yzak and the bitter anger present in her voice. They had all heard it before and they had all felt it before. That resentment and self loathing, knowing you could have done more but unable to change it, there wasn't a person alive who had fought in the wars and didn't understand that. How many nights had they all lain awake going over and over in their minds what they could have done instead of what they had done? How many battles had been revisited wondering how the outcome could have been changed if they had done something else or been just a little faster or better? The simple truth was that there were too many to count and too many hours spent in doubts, all of them knew only too well what Cagalli had meant, and somehow it made them all the more human for it.

"Excuse me, but we're here," the driver stated quietly as he rolled to a stop.

There were more reporters here and the fake Lacus waited at the top of the stairs in her costume. Cagalli took a deep breath and collected herself, calmly with practice setting aside her turbulent emotions and exhaustion. Both Kira and Athrun wanted to say something more but it wasn't the time or place at the moment, all they could do was help Cagalli from the car as Yzak and Dearka flanked them. Both their arms supported her weight as they made their way up the entrance stairs and to the waiting 'Lacus' who looked a little lost as to what she should do.

"Um… welcome… I…" Meer gulped as she was faced with the full strength of Cagalli's glare. "I'm sorry for your loss… I really am, and I'm sorry for hurting you and Miss Lacus… I didn't… I just wanted to help…"

Cagalli sighed; this girl was really nothing but a puppet. She hadn't seen anything beyond what she had been told to do or why she had been told to do them. Behind them reporters who had heard her admit that she wasn't the real Lacus were in a frenzy, and Athrun winced at the thought of what this could mean for Meer. Both Cagalli and Kira were shocked to find they felt sympathy for the girl, they had both been furious when she had come out pretending to be Lacus, but faced with her in person they found a bit of understanding and a ton of pity.

"I'm not happy with what you've done. You've lied to a lot of people, and you really hurt the real Lacus who is a very dear friend of mine, but I understand why you did it and why it might have even been necessary." Cagalli told her firmly, letting the reporters hear her clearly. "I'm just glad you've stopped pretending to be someone you are not. You are you and Lacus is Lacus, that's all there is to it, though I'm sure that the PLANTs can be thankful for your help in their time of need. It must have been pretty hard for you too, pretending to be someone you're not for the sake of the PLANTs, but I think that Chairman Durandal has underestimated the people of the PLANTs. I think they were stronger then he thought, I'm sorry you got caught up in his deceits."

"I… I…" Meer blushed and felt tears well up and without a second thought she was suddenly hugging a stunned Cagalli while sobbing her heart out and apologizing.

Cagalli blinked and then sighed heavily before placing her arms around the girl and murmuring nothings to try and get her to calm down. For Kira it was like that time back on the Archangel when she had held him after he had 'killed' Andrew Waltfeld. For Athrun it was like that time when she had tried to encourage him to not give up on his father. Somehow, someway, Cagalli always seemed to have the ability to know what to say or how to help when someone was hurting. Maybe it was her own desires for someone to be there for her or just her selflessness answering her need to help others. Whatever the case they both doubted that this was the end of it, maybe Cagalli was helping the girl now but that didn't mean she wouldn't be yelling at her tomorrow after she got some rest.

* * *

"She's done what!" Chairman Durandal demanded angrily.

"It's all over the PLANTs, your 'Lacus' has admitted to not being Lacus, though it is still unknown as to who she really is."

"How foolish of her!"

"Gilbert an explanation would be nice," Captain Gladys demanded calmly. "As a member of Faith I can't react properly to such situations without knowing the circumstances and my crew is in an uproar!"

"The real Lacus could not be found, and with the unrest it was decided that a substitute might be needed. The girl's name is Meer Campbell though officially all records of who she truly is have been removed from the PLANTs database." Durandal snapped. "This is an unfortunate and unexpected turn of events."

"So it never occurred to you or the council that should a fake Lacus turn up that the real one would show as well, or that the people who know the real Lacus would take offense?" Captain Gladys frowned.

"A contingency plan was put in place but failed." Durandal stated flatly. "For now your concerns should lay with Logos."

Captain Gladys stared at the blank screen in growing horror. Cagalli's words from her public statements rang hollowly inside her head, 'Maybe it wasn't you who tried to get the real Lacus killed but I don't think anyone else could have ordered or let a group of ZAFT specials slip by to attack her in ORB.'

Remembering the reports from Lunamaria on Athrun's meeting with Cagalli and others from the Archangel, Talia Gladys found herself in no doubts of the truth.

"Gilbert what have you done?" she murmured. "Who have you become?"

* * *

Well there you have it, and yes the next chapter will have a lot more progress. A lot of facts are coming to light so as you can all see this won't be the exact same as the Destiny timeline, though most of the major events will still be there. As much as I enjoyed the Destiny series, I found there to be a ton of inconsistencies and I didn't like that much, plus the point of view jumps around way too much, while in the Seed verse it mostly focused on Kira and somewhat on Athrun. I know a lot of you want to know about Lacus and the Archangel but you're going to have to wait to find out. I don't want to hop around too much and I want to keep the focus on Cagalli and Athrun with some Lacus and Kira. Anyways I hope you all enjoyed this and I hope you Review!


	6. Running in Circles

Disclaimer: I own nothing and make no profit.

**AN**: Thank you everyone for your marvelous Reviews. Here's the next chapter and thankfully this time it didn't take me a year to update! I am so very happy for all of the support! Please continue to read and Review! Again if anyone wants to Beta this story please Message or E-mail me, my info is available on my profile page.

Someone has asked where this story begins in GSD. Just to clarify it begins before the actual Intro credits in Phase 35. Honestly I don't think it's in the movies at all, but there's a small moment showing Cagalli crying as she retrieves the Freedom. There's more to the intro but I'm not going to spoil it for those who haven't watched. Anyways I do hope that clarifies matters. Please enjoy this chapter and let me know what you think.

**Chapter Six**: Running in Circles

* * *

Chaos ensued as the fake Lacus finally pulled away, and very suddenly Cagalli felt unbelievably tired. The last thing she wanted to deal with was this Media frenzy, but years of first hand experience had her giving a sad sort of smile and hiding her exhaustion. Calmly she stated that she would see to it that any and all questions would be answered in due time and that she would do her utmost to see that a Press Conference was held and that she would make her Public Statements then. Athrun had then stated that he too would address any questions the Press and the Public held as well and that if they could all be a little patient, it had been a very trying experience. Meer made no attempts to address the public, but Yzak surprised everyone by stepping in and demanding that the Press cease their harassment of the Plants honored guests. He very neatly backed the Supreme Council into a corner by stating that he was certain that they would be investigating Cagalli's accusations, and that, they were not mere puppet of the Supreme Chairman and each were an honored representative of their Plant. His wording was precise and very clever in its threat, but it flat out demanded the actions and motives of Chairman Durandal be called into question. It left little doubt of where his loyalties lay and very little doubt that the Council would have to take action.

Within moments of these live broadcasts the citizens were demanding answers. It was very obvious that Chairman Durandal had lied. Outrage and anger rallied the people as they demanded answers. The Supreme Council were hard pressed to deal with all of the public demands, and as Yzak Joule had quite efficiently pressed them into a corner they needed to begin an inquiry into their Supreme Chairman's actions, actions that only a couple days prior they had honored, but now found themselves in a very difficult position because of it. The Earth Nations were making demands as well and Chairman Durandal was still on earth and not presently trying anything to do Damage Control. With so much on the line the Council made the only decision they could, Supreme Chairman Durandal's position would be suspended pending the investigation and a temporary Chair would take his position until further notice. The public's demands would be met and negotiations with the other nations would require further actions and delicate processing. In only a day everything the Chairman had put into motion was ripped asunder and thrown into nothingness.

* * *

"That was certainly interesting," Dearka muttered as he collapsed onto the couch.

"That was a fucking nightmare!" Yzak snarled.

"Yeah but at least this way things will get done," Dearka muttered and frowned. "I don't like this Yzak, I know we needed this, but now the Plants are vulnerable."

"Don't you think I know that!" Yzak snarled. "That bastard played everyone for fools and we let him! We are soldiers… we aren't supposed to question our orders, but we should know better… Damnit! This wasn't supposed to happen! Not again!"

"So the question is what do we do now?" Dearka muttered. "At this rate the EA will want the Plants and ZAFT on a Platinum Platter, and with all the shit that bastard pulled they can demand it."

"You'll have to rely on Cagalli," Kira stated flatly. "She's the one who put this all into motion, and she won't back down from it either. I'm also pretty sure that now that Meer has come out as herself, Lacus will show up soon."

"You mean… you mean I'm the reason Miss Lacus didn't return to the Plants?" Meer asked suddenly from where she had sat quietly in a corner. "But the Chairman said…"

"When will you get it through you dumb head? The Chairman was lying!" Yzak snapped.

"Miss Campbell… Please think for a moment. You were here pretending to be Lacus. What do you think would have happened had she returned and tried to say she was the real one?" Kira asked her quietly. "It wouldn't have done anyone any good and in the end it would have placed her in great danger and you as well. Lacus is strong but she's not a puppet, she wouldn't just play to whatever tune the Chairman gave her. It was wrong of him to try and dictate her like that."

"I… okay," Meer frowned and looked sad. "I'm going to go change now…"

"So where's Zala?" Yzak muttered.

"He's still with Cagalli. She's pretty tired and we needed to treat her wounds." Kira sighed. "She's doing too much."

"You know that she's going to do a lot more right?" Dearka asked suddenly. "Even if Lacus shows up, Cagalli is in the 'Lime Light' she's going to have to show the universe just who she is."

"Yeah… yeah I know, but I don't have to like it." Kira huffed. "I failed her, and so did Athrun and even Lacus… we all failed her. She was alone… and I don't think I ever realized just how alone she was, even with Athrun there. Now it feels like there isn't anything that any of us can do. Like she's unreachable and all we can do is watch her shine and hope she keeps shining."

"That's because none of us realized just who she was…" Athrun stated tiredly from the doorway. "Where's Meer?"

"She went to change…" Kira told him frowning.

"Hang on, we need to talk and she should be here for this…" Athrun stated calmly.

"Why she's just a puppet…" Yzak sneered.

"She was his puppet… but now she's not, what do think will happen now?" Athrun snapped back. "She's as much part of this as any of us, and now she has to deal with the consequences of what's been done as much as the Chairman, she can't hide from it."

"I hate to admit it but he's right," Kira muttered. "Cagalli still hasn't ripped into her or even you yet; she'll need to know what's coming there too."

"Thanks for the reminder…" Athrun muttered as he left the room.

"I have to say that is one show I'm looking forward too." Dearka grinned.

Yzak only smirked but Kira winced, he had a feeling he was going to get included in that particular ruthless engagement. Cagalli had been furious when they had settled her in one of the guest rooms. The only reason she wasn't letting them all have it was because she was exhausted after the crazy day she just had and her body hadn't been up to the task of putting up more of a fight. It was good to see some of the old Cagalli back, but at the same time it was worrying, and the truth of the matter was despite being twins, Kira knew almost nothing about Cagalli. He didn't know why her being herself worried him more then her being depressed.

* * *

Athrun calmly knocked on Meer's door and waited patiently for her to open it. He didn't have to wait long and as he thought, she was crying.

"Meer…" Athrun sighed.

"Can I help you?" Meer asked sadly.

"You're over thinking this…" Athrun huffed. "Cagalli once told me something I think you need to hear too. You need to talk to everyone… you can't just whole yourself up and let your mind run round and round, Meer you're not alone. I don't think what you did was right, but it wasn't only your fault, the fact that this came about at all means you're not at fault, and I was dumb enough to go along with it too."

"But I didn't even try to understand! I wanted to be like Lacus but I…" Meer fell to her knees and sobbed. "I'm not her… I'm not! I just wanted to help!"

"You are Meer Campbell and that's all there is to it, but you can't just keep acting like this. You have to move on Meer, and you have an important role now too. Maybe you didn't try to understand then, but doesn't that mean you can try and understand now?" Athrun asked her calmly.

"I don't know!" Meer wailed.

"You're smarter then this Meer and it's not going to be easy… but you can't let yourself be like this. You're Meer Campbell, the girl who had the audacity to sleep in my room!" Athrun knelt in front of her and placed a hand on her shoulder. "You're more then the Chairman made you out to be, and we need your help."

"How could I possibly be any help?" Meer demanded bitterly.

"By being you instead of Lacus, by letting other's know your story." Athrun stated calmly. "What the Chairman Durandal did was wrong, he and any others involved, but you are the only one who knows everything about how this came to be. So tell them your story."

"I… could I really help?" Meer asked slowly pulling herself together.

"Yes… I really think you could, but it has to be your words Meer and this won't be easy. There are going to be a lot of people who are angry with you, but if you're you then you won't be alone. Cagalli already said it; it must have been hard pretending to be someone you are not."

Meer nodded and Athrun stood, helping her back to her feet. "Give me a moment and I'll be out. Princess Cagalli is really lucky Athrun… I think I understand some of why you are the way you are now."

Athrun stared at the closed door in shock, and found himself blushing slightly, wondering if she had complimented him or Cagalli.

* * *

The room was quiet while they waited for Athrun and Meer, but it wasn't an opposing silence, just a thoughtful one. They each had their own thoughts and were working through them on their own. When Athrun and Meer arrived a couple minutes later it wasn't startling but it wasn't necessarily welcomed either. Meer had changed her cloths as she said she would, she was now dressed in a denim skirt, a linen blouse, and a denim jacket. She looked very pretty but the outfit wasn't something Lacus would have worn, and somehow everyone knew she had done that on purpose. She was, in her own little way, stating that she wasn't Lacus Clyne. Somehow something inside everyone eased, she still looked like Lacus, but it was apparent to everyone that she was no longer trying to be her.

"Sorry it took so long," Meer murmured, and it was immediately apparent that she had been crying.

"Its fine," Kira sighed. "At least you understand now."

"I… yes a little." Meer sighed and curled up on the floor in front of everyone. Yzak and Dearka were on the couch and Athrun and Kira were on the two easy chairs.

"I have a question… why did you do it?" Dearka asked frowning. "You had to know you couldn't keep the act up forever."

"I thought I was just a stand in… it never occurred to me that the Chairman was trying to make me a replacement… and then I started getting confused. 'I was Lacus wasn't I? It was me doing all those things, not that other person. What was so great about being Meer Campbell anyway? I was Lacus; I'd rather be her anyways…' I… got lost in all of it. I forgot I can only be me…"

"Sometimes I really hate it when Cagalli's right," Kira muttered and glared at the ceiling for a moment.

"…" Meer stared him in confusion.

"It was hard on you… pretending to be someone you're not. She told you that… and she was right. It was wrong of the Chairman to put that on you and to try and dictate who Lacus is, I'm sorry you got caught in the middle of it." Kira told her gently.

"I…" Meer sighed and nodded. There wasn't much she could say to that.

"The Chairman tried to dictate more then just Lacus," Athrun frowned. "He tried to pull the same thing with Cagalli when he held that Press Conference. It feels like we're all one big game to him, like none of us actually mean anything. He has his important pieces but that's it."

"The problem is what type of game is he playing? What's his goal…?" Yzak snarled. "What could he possibly want that would make him betray the Plants? He was a good Chairman up until Junius Seven fell…"

"I think he had something to do with that," Meer stated quietly. "I never really paid much attention, but I think he pushed those people toward doing something like that. He was always going on and on about Junius Seven and telling people not to let it rule their judgment…"

"I remember that," Dearka frowned. "It was like he was reminding everyone about Junius Seven at every turn, and he went over Patric Zala's Ideals a lot too."

"Wait, what?" Athrun gaped at Meer and Dearka.

"It was also a little too convenient that not only my Team but several others were equipped with Asteroid Breakers a week before the Fall." Yzak frowned.

"If that's true… then this war was completely within his plans," Athrun pointed out. "He needed this war… but for what?"

"I don't know," Meer stated quietly.

"Its fine we didn't expect you to," Dearka murmured.

"The next question is what will he do now?" Kira asked frowning. "His plans are in ruin…"

"Orb…" Yzak stated flatly. "He'll go after Orb, they're the biggest threat, even with the chaos the Seirans have created, and Cagalli isn't there."

"She's here where he can easily get a hold of her," Dearka sighed. "And she's in no condition to fight either, and not just physically."

Meer frowned in confusion.

"So that's it then, all we can do is wait and take everything as it comes," Athrun stated flatly.

"We're down to Cagalli again," Kira sighed.

"Well she is a Princess, isn't that part of her position?" Meer asked. "She's a lot like Lacus, right? Her first obligation is to her People and Nation. It's her duty."

"You're right… and in this case, her duties will have to extend to the Plants as well." Athrun frowned. "It seems like a bit much to ask."

"She was raised for it, quit underestimating her." Yzak snapped. "She wasn't raised like us, she was raised in a higher standing then we could ever imagine. We were raised amongst politics, she would have been too, but for her it was necessary for the position she would hold later in life. She's stronger then you think."

"Right… so now we wait," Dearka muttered. "I hate this part."

* * *

Okay never mind! Not much real progress and shorter then my previous chapters. THIS IS NOT A FILLER! This was very necessary. I wanted you all to see how I saw the Chairman and to see Meer come into her own a bit. I promise the infamous match between Cagalli and Athrun and Meer will be in the next chapter along with some new twists. Enjoy and review.


	7. Alone She Stands Broken?

**Disclaimer: I do not own nor make profit from Mobile Suit Gundam Seed or Monile Suit Gundam Seed.**

**AN:** Okay so wow it's been a really long time since I updated! SORRY! Really I am! Life just sometimes gets away from you and damn but it sucks! As promised here's the blow up scene and yes I am already working on the next chapter so it shouldn't be such a long wait this time but still no promises! Also there is cussing so no littles reading this got that! In any case please enjoy!

**Chapter 7:** Alone She Stands Broken?

* * *

She had fought, she had screamed and thrown tantrums, and she had refused, but the one thing she had never done was complain. She was the _Princess_ of Orb for better or worse, and as much as she had hated everything it had meant she had never backed down from her responsibilities. She would protest but she had never stopped loving her people or her country, but at the same time she had hated it all. Her heart had been ripped from her more times then she could count.

Her personal happiness would always be sacrificed for the good of the people and nation, and yet doing so had hurt not only her but her Orb as well. Her father had sacrificed everything for Orb and in doing so he had left nothing but a broken country for his daughter to strive to rebuild. She had fought long and hard for Orb, slowly but surely building it back and lifting it from the rubble. At the tender age of sixteen she had done what most, older politicians and leaders couldn't have, but the cost had been great. In the end of it all her country was laid bare to chaos and her own heart and mind were in tatters. So what to do now? Where should she go? She knew what she wanted but could she do it?

When she had stepped into the position of Chief Representative she had been so confused and her questions had been the same if not more difficult to answer. She had been in this position before, but this time it was her own actions that had placed her here. She had no one else to blame, not really, and she had so much on her shoulders. She knew one thing though; she would not and could not move forward so long as she was so uncertain of herself. So where did that leave her?

"My children are dead… My country is in shambles… My people are lost and confused… Behind it all is a silent puppet master, larger than even Logos…" Cagalli murmured softly, looking out at the Plants from her window. "I'm in 'enemy' territory, physically and emotionally weak…"

Taking a deep breath she considered what she had just said. "My children are dead… but that can't be undone and I can't let myself deal with it until things are better… I don't have the luxury of breaking apart, no matter how much I want to right now… My people need me and when the time is right we will all mourn our loss… My people need me…"

However, as much as her people needed her, who did they need her for? Did they need Cagalli or Cagalli Yula Athha the Chief Representative of Orb?

"I tried just being the Chief Representative… being what my father wanted me to be…" Cagalli muttered. "I can't be that person; I'm not my father…"

So the question left was she could be the Chief Representative of the Orb Union as just Cagalli? Could she put not just her heart into her nation but her soul, mind, and body as well? Could she rule her nation as herself and not as someone that everyone wanted her to be? To be honest, she had stunk at being what was expected of her. Even though she had tried to live up to everyone's expectations she had still been headstrong and stubborn, which was why so much had gotten done in only two short years. So was it okay to just be herself? It had been two years since she had let that happen, even during the too few visits with Kira and the others she had not forgotten her status.

"Okay… never mind, I have to be Cagalli," Cagalli muttered.

"Who else would you be?" Athrun asked from the door.

"My father… everything everyone wants me to be rather than me…" Cagalli growled. "I can't be that person… She isn't me."

"Your father?" Athrun blinked startled.

"Athrun… you can't tell me you never saw how everyone was constantly pushing me to be a Chief Representative like my father…!" Cagalli eyed him and noticed his confusion, and suddenly her temper snapped. "You're serious! You never noticed! Were you even paying attention when you were my bodyguard or just watching the damn scenery!?"

"I…" Athrun blinked as Cagalli stomped past him and headed down the hall.

"You're unbelievable! How could you not see how I was always being pushed and prodded into this perfect little niche! Not to mention the crap the Seirans were pulling!" Cagalli snarled. "Did you even care!?"

"Of course I did! I hated how tired you always were and how you always pushed yourself… but I…"

"But I what?" Cagalli snapped furiously.

"I knew what Orb meant to you…" Athrun muttered.

"Did it ever occur to you to do something about it! You watched me stay up late and get up early! You watched me barely eat and struggle after struggle! Did it ever occur to you to HELP!" Cagalli screamed catching everyone's attention and bringing them out of the dining room where breakfast was being served.

"Of course I did! That's why I…"

"Why you left!** YOU IDIOT! YOU STUPID HAMPSTER BRAIN**! There was plenty you could have done in Orb! Without just taking off and rejoining ZAFT!" Cagalli snarled stopping at the top of the stairs to turn and stare at Athrun. "You couldn't even see what was going on in front of you; how was joining ZAFT going to help anything?"

"You weren't much better off!" Athrun snapped. "You let that bastard paint you into a corner!"

"At the time I felt like I didn't have a choice! I'm not like you Athrun!" Cagalli snarled darkly, hiding her face behind her bangs and clenching her fists.

"Cagalli…?" Athrun stared.

"I'm just… I'm not… Damnit!" Cagalli shook and felt like everything was spinning out of her grasp. Turning she went to got down the stairs.

"Hey wait! What did you mean by that!?" Athrun demanded, grabbing her arm gently but firmly.

"…" Cagalli gritted her teeth. "Why can't you just get it!? Why can you never see what's right there!?"

Athrun stepped back, shocked by her outburst. The others were startled as well, but not so much by Cagalli's temper as by her words.

"I'm not a **NORMAL** Natural!" Cagalli burst out angrily. "I don't get to cry when I get hurt or lay in bed when I'm sick! I don't get to hide away or un when things get to tough! Where would I go anyways!? Everyone in the fucking Galaxy knows who I am! "

Athrun gritted his teeth and let out a slow breath and quietly answered, "I know… I know that now."

"Oh you know! Well Whoop de **DO! LET THE WORLD FALL AT HIS FEET ATHRUN ACTUALLY FIGURED SOMETHING OUT!** You still blame me for falling into the Seirans traps! **WELL GUESS WHAT… I HAD NO CHOICE**!" Cagalli screamed, her snapping reached and broken. "I don't get to just say no when I don't want to do something! My people and ORB come first! DO you think for a moment I wanted to marry that bastard! To have his hands on me? To have to fuck him and give myself to him for the sake of my country!? Do you know how disgusting that was for me!? How dirty and used the thought of it made me feel? Yet that's what I've had to live with since I was a little girl! Do you know what it's like to know that you have no control over your future except how you will one day rule your nation and even that's curbed by the expectations of those around you! The first person I ever considered a friend was using me to help her parents! The first person I ever trusted had me kidnapped and tested to make sure I was a fucking Natural!"

"Cagalli?" Kira whispered as Athrun went pale at the truth of her words.

"I'm expected to be perfect! No illnesses, no faults, no damn mistakes!" Cagalli snarled darkly. "I'm hurting, and I'm lonely but I need to stand firm for the sake of my People and Nation! Do you have any idea what that's like!? Of course not you're too fucking blind to see it! You're not your father** ATHRUN!** You have the choice not to be him! You have never had your life planned for you; yes you had expectations placed on you, but never a concrete destiny you HAD to fulfill! I do and I have to live with it every day!"

"I…" Athrun blinked and tried to wrap his head around everything Cagalli was saying.

"I may be a Natural but I am far from a normal one. I never wanted this to happen but despite what everyone may think I'm not perfect! You made the choice of going back to ZAFT! I don't get a choice! I could step down but my cousins were the ones who had the Archangel and first Gundams built, including the Astray frames! What would they do on the Cabinet or as Chief Representative!? Kira once asked if it was okay to sacrifice my happiness for the expense of stabilizing ORB and if in doing so was it okay if the cost was the rest of the world. The answer is yes, but not because of what he thinks." Cagalli snapped. "ORB is different from other nations… if by example it can ignite hope then what else could I do! I'm not a god I can't merely wave my hand and say a few pretty words and have the war end! Look what happened when I tried to stop the ORB fleets!"

"You still could have done something! You should have stayed in…" Athrun growled out but Cagalli cut him off.

"Make up your damn mind! Stay in ORB and marry that bastard or leave and try to do what I could so legally the power was not usurped!? Do you even realize that by their very actions the Seirans are committing_** TREASON!?** _Look I get it! The situation isn't pretty but I would have thought by now you would have realized that WAR isn't pretty! Well guess what my place in the war is what my people demand of me, and if you can't live with that then fine! Get out of my life and stay out! I don't need a man who can't stick by his decisions or live with his own past and who his father is! I sure as hell don't need a man who won't stand beside me and work with me for the betterment of my Nation! So what will it be Athrun Zala son of Lenore and Patrick Zala!?"

_*She didn't want to marry Yuna… She knew exactly what it would mean…She… if she had…*_ Athrun froze, he still had doubts. After everything that had happened he still had doubts?

"You can't just say that!" Meer exclaimed startled by the whole scene that had unfolded like a Pandora's Box in front of her. "Athrun is a good person!"

"I didn't say he wasn't!" Cagalli snapped turning her fury on Meer who nearly crumpled underneath her ferocity. "You know nothing! You're just a silly little actress who thought she was helping, but guess what! Your actions, even more than mine, escalated the war!"

"I… I didn't… I…" Meer stared wide eyed at Cagalli, frozen in fear and confusion.

"Did it ever occur to you how much you were hurting those who really loved Lacus? Do you know how much they suffered seeing a liar in her place? Did you really think for a moment that you could replace her?" Cagalli snapped. "Because of your actions people believed the Chairman and believed in pushing for this war! THAT is why Durandal wanted you for a 'Puppet Lacus'! I may have ignored the world in favor for the struggles I was dealing with in ORB but you ignored everything but what all this would mean for you and the Chairman!"

"I…" Meer stared at Cagalli in horror as her words sunk in. "Oh no… no no no no no!"

Cagalli sighed feeling her anger die down as she saw the pale drawn features of everyone around her. "Do you see now? I'm not some fairy tale princess or a normal young woman. I'll never get to shop and gossip like normal girls do… I can't run crying when I'm hurt, no matter how bad it hurts. I'm not /_just/_ Cagalli… no matter how much I wish I was. You figured it out, but can you understand what it means?"

"…"

"I'm not saying I don't love my Nation… I probably love ORB and my People /too/ much. I want my country to thrive, and I want my People to be happy." Cagalli stated calmly. "My goal, once I was established as ORB's Chief Representative, was to make ORB into a beacon of hope and peace! To show the world and the PLANTs that, yes, Coordinators and Naturals could co-exist, and what's more, they could thrive and grow. I wanted everyone to see what could be accomplished when you set aside your hate… however my greatest foolishness was in not seeing the corruptness in my own Cabinet. I should have realized there was more to what the Seirans' were doing then it appeared. I failed in rooting out the evils that come with great power… with power comes great responsibility and I failed in upholding that. I'm aware of what I did wrong… I don't need any of you pointing that out, but you need to remember you're not faultless either! You left me alone! All of you left me alone! How could I stand firm when there was no one to stand beside me? I am only one person and it takes more than one person to start a war and more than one person to end it. You can rely on me all you want… I am more then used to it, but I ask this! If you wish to rely on me and entrust our Fate and that of this war to me, then stand beside me! Be my Sword, and Shield but not the chains that bind me! Please don't stand behind me holding onto me as if I have all the answers… I don't. Rely on me but let me do the same!"

"I don't think that's too unreasonable. I'm sorry we forgot that you needed us too." Lacus stated from just inside the doorway with Andrew Waltfeld.

"Lacus!" Kira ran to her and embraced her, but Cagalli stood almost imperiously as she and Lacus looked upon each other.

* * *

Okay I'm a brat with an itch! Sorry! I couldn't resist it's the perfect cliffhanger! Anyways I hope you enjoyed and believe it or not this was damn hard to write. I'm sure this isn't Cagalli's last blow up but it is the main one and it's going to force our characters to think, really think about not just Cagalli and ORB but their lack of awareness throughout the series. It really ticked me off that they did so little about anything even though Lacus basically told them to just act mindlessly! Anyways as always please Review and yes I'm still looking for a Beta reader! Please PM me if you wish to apply! Also no worries I'm already working on the next chapter and it will go into depth on their plans of how to get out of their situation, not that everything goes as planned right? ;P!


End file.
